


Scars

by demiclar



Series: Dare to Dream [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Constant Fear of Impending Doom, Crown-Splitter is badass, Destiny really said let's make Titans medieval knights and I'm here for it, Festival of the Lost, Game: Destiny 2: Forsaken DLC, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, I'm doing my best I swear, It Needed To Be Said, Last fight scene reminds me of a lightsaber battle, Lore is hard, M/M, Season of the Drifter, Season of the Forge, Shattered Throne, Stitches pt. 2, Stoneborn Order, The Darkness is Scary, my lovely gay boys, self-indulgent fic, the gay panic is being managed, what even are these tags anymore, will add tags as this goes on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 41,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25237387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demiclar/pseuds/demiclar
Summary: Edon and Torak work to navigate their budding relationship after releasing a curse on the Dreaming City.
Relationships: Male Guardian/Male Guardian (Destiny)
Series: Dare to Dream [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828261
Comments: 18
Kudos: 22
Collections: Fireteam Aadya





	1. It Only Feels Real After Raining

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't forgotten about my boys! If you're new to me, hello! You should probably read my story called Stitches, which follows Torak and Edon initially getting together. You can find it by going to the first work of my Dare to Dream series. If you're not new to me, I'm so glad you're back and I hope you like my disaster gays becoming less disastrous together.

Torak followed Edon back to his apartment in a daze. As they walked, he stared down at their joined hands, his right hand laced with Edon’s left in a hold that left both of their fighting hands open. Just by holding hands, they were already putting their weaknesses together to become something stronger. Still, the heat that flowed into his gloved palm from Edon’s hand made him realize he’d be needing as much of that strength as he could get.

Quite frankly, he was trying not to have a crisis. Whatever little epiphany he’d had before they’d fought Riven had dissolved the moment they’d walked through those massive doors that had led them into the heart of the Dreaming City. He’d taken one step inside and seen his friends go rigid as voices echoed around them in tongues they’d known all too well. On the flight back to the Tower, Edon had confessed he’d heard Zavala’s voice, over and over again, speaking down to him, telling him about every one of his faults. Torak had heard similar things, though none of the voices had ever really spoken directly to him. At first, he’d heard Uldren’s voice, which had taken him a while to recognize. He hadn’t even realized who it was until he’d seen Tessa react, until he’d heard the voice taunting her, and she’d gone so rigid Torak had thought she might turn to stone.

After that, he’d heard Ikora and the Awoken Queen speaking to Damian, and had watched him quite literally warp one of his guns in his hands with a mix of solar light and a bone tight grip when Ikora’s voice had asked him to kill her. Then, he’d heard Zavala, his voice a deep growl as he spoke, reaching out directly to Edon while Torak could only listen in. He’d hated every moment he’d heard, but there had been nothing he could do, nothing he could even wish he could do.

If the voices hadn’t been enough, what had come after had certainly been worse. They’d managed to free two of the Queen’s techuns, weakening them both enough that they couldn’t fight back before they’d cleansed each one with their light. After the Techuns, they’d fought a warped sort of Ogre by drawing its darkness into their light, and they’d gone in and out of the ascendant realm before they’d finally killed Riven. After everything, Torak felt like he could still feel the Darkness’s touch roving over his skin, holding him the way Edon had, but where Edon’s hands had been so right and wonderful, the darkness had been everything but, a world of bad and worse. He could still feel the chill deep within his bones, like he’d spent the whole day in freezing, pouring rain and he just couldn’t get warm even long afterwards.

Damian had taken Riven’s heart to the techuns. Knowing full well that it was a trap, he’d taken the cursed thing in his hands and had carried it to the techuns to cleanse it. Torak wasn’t sure if Damian knew he’d heard the words it had spoken to him after the techuns had gone. He wasn’t sure he’d ever forget.

Still, it had gotten worse. They’d taken their spoils unsure if they’d really won, but daring to hope, until they’d stepped outside and seen exactly what they’d unleashed on the Dreaming City. Torak had never seen anything like it, even with his contact with the taken, nothing even came close. It wasn’t Oryx’s doing, like so much of the damage to the city had been. Damian had taken one look at the massive Taken blight hanging over the city and knew there was only one being alive that could manage something like that, and even in the face of death, it wasn’t a move Oryx would have made.

Savathûn. Damian had guessed it was the actions of the witch queen, and his first action had been to call Petra and the Vanguard, to tell them that they’d succeeded, but may very well have doomed the Dreaming City as a result, or worse. They’d spent the last three hours after arriving back at the Tower in the Vanguard Leader’s war room, pouring over every detail, every intricacy of the battle and beyond. Tessa had paced the whole time, and Torak was surprised she hadn’t worn a groove into the floor. He was pretty sure she’d still be at it if they hadn’t been sent away, only released after Akshay had passed out from exhaustion while standing at one of the tables, earning a minor concussion on the way down. Torak certainly didn’t blame him. After the past two days they’d been through, he was sure he wasn’t far behind, and Akshay had probably run three times the distance he had during the battle. Still, he too was exhausted, and he wanted to rest so badly but… he couldn’t bear to be alone.

Edon must’ve been able to see it, because he’d invited Torak back to his apartment, and had been ever graceful to his silence as he led him back, holding his hand tight like he could tether him to reality. He almost could, really. He held Torak the whole walk, their fingers laced together, and every so often Edon would give his hand a little squeeze, and Torak would squeeze back, and the little gesture of care meant everything to him.

He was doing it again now, Torak realized, a few quick motions, likely to get his attention as Torak stared down at his own feet. He quickly responded, tightening his grip on Edon’s hand as he raised his eyes to the other Titan’s, finding the man watching him with concern in his eyes.

“Do you…” He broke off with a shudder, trying to push down the chill rising in his bones again. “Do you think Tessa will be okay?” He asked. His mind had kept circling back to her again and again. He’d hardly been able to stop watching her pacing during their time in the war room.

She’d left her helmet on the whole time, and Torak had seen her trembling for most of it. Damian hadn’t even been able to comfort her. It looked like he wasn’t even ready to try. He’d kept his hands tucked in close, hadn’t touched anything around him, had only gripped his elbows tight. Torak wasn’t sure if it was about Riven’s heart. If he felt corrupted by it somehow, like somehow his hands were tainted. With what he knew of ahamkaras, he couldn’t even banish it from the realm of possibility.

Still, it wasn’t Damian he was worried about, but perhaps he should have been. Damian had been heaping so much work onto himself the past few weeks that their whole clan had taken notice. A few days before Torak and Edon had been attacked, when Tessa had still been on the shore, Praxedes had suggested an intervention. Estella had been the one to tell her off. Not because he didn’t need it, but because she knew Damian well enough to know it wouldn’t work. If Damian was anything, he was committed. He’d volunteered to help the Vanguards with the extra workload now that Cayde was gone. He was going to see it though.

But Torak knew it was more than that. Edon had told him what he could about what the team had gone through during the Red War. He had no doubt the whole situation had taken Damian back to it. He’d thought he’d lost Tessa, apparently the two had gotten separated, even her Ghost hadn’t been able to find her. Until their final assault on the City, everyone had thought she was dead. With Tessa on the Shore, avoiding all of them, it had probably felt like she was gone all over again, and Damian must’ve dove into his work to distract himself from it all.

Still, he wasn’t worried about Damian. He had Ikora and Estella and a whole support system Tessa had grown distant from. She would need help if she was going to get through all of this. Damian had taken Riven’s heart as a way to spare her from it all, but Torak knew she blamed herself for the curse they’d unleashed. She’d probably blame herself for the rest of her lives.

Edon let out his breath in a considering sigh, snapping Torak back to reality so roughly he nearly flinched, but managed to remain relaxed enough that his hand only tightened a little on Edon’s in surprise. Edon squeezed back, looking almost unconscious of the movement, as if it were already muscle memory for him.

“Tessa’s been though a lot.” Edon said at last, his eyes shifting back to meet Torak’s again. “All of this came so soon. She was only just recovering from the Red War, and Cayde and Zavala were both so important to her recovery, when Cayde died and Zavala told her not to go after Uldren, it was like she lost both of them. I think if she’s going to get over all this, she’s going to need to make peace with Zavala, and I don’t think she’s on a great path to do that.”

Torak glanced at Edon with a little confused frown. “Why not?” He asked. He’d seen Tessa and Zavala at the meeting earlier. They hadn’t spoken, but Tessa hadn’t spoken to anyone. Still, when Zavala had looked at her, there had been no anger in his eyes, just sadness.

Edon glanced around before he answered, checking to make sure the hallway was clear, though he didn’t lower his voice much.

“You know the new guy that showed up in the Bazaar?” He asked him, “The Drifter? Likes green, has a banner with snakes on it?”

Torak nodded. The Drifter had showed up in the Tower just after Tessa had left for the Shore, setting up a little stall in a back corner of the Bazaar, just next to the ramen shop. Torak had yet to meet him, but he’d peeked in a few times. To be honest, the man gave him the creeps.

“Well, the Vanguard doesn’t like him. With everything going on, they haven’t kicked him out yet, but I know Zavala’s thinking about it. They don’t like his game, apparently, he uses Darkness to run it, and supposedly Tessa’s been playing it.”

Torak’s brows lifted in surprise, shock with just a little bit of hurt mixed in with it. She had time to play games, but couldn’t be bothered to check in with them?

Edon must’ve seen the thoughts on his face because he gave his hand a little squeeze, a look of sympathy returning to his face.

“She’s going through a lot.” He reminded; his voice soft. “If Gambit can give her a safe place to work through some of the problems she’s dealing with, then I’m all for it.”  
  


“But is it safe?” Torak questioned. “You said he was using the Darkness.”

Edon bit his lip, glancing back ahead of them as he mulled over his answer.

“I don’t know.” He said at last. “In our line of work, nothing is really safe, but Drifter isn’t using the Darkness against anyone, it’s just fuel for him, and Tessa’s strong. I wouldn’t say that the risk of the Darkness is anything worse than what she already does on a daily basis, and it’s in a controlled environment. Overall, it might even be safer, but I still doubt it’s winning her any points back with the Vanguard.”

“I’m not sure she really cares.” Torak murmured, and Edon smiled sadly.

“No,” he agreed, “she probably doesn’t.”

They walked for a few long moments in silence before Torak let out a little sigh.

“Everything is so… fucked up.” He breathed, and Edon let out a little laugh.

“Yeah.” The other Titan hummed, then rose Torak’s hand to this mouth and placed a kiss on his gloved knuckles. “Well,” He said, still holding Torak’s hand close, “I’m glad we’re not on that list.”

Torak could have sworn every inch of his face went red in that moment, but Edon smiled, and he swallowed thickly, giving a little nod.

“Me too.” He agreed, his voice weak, though not from anything like disagreement.

Thankfully, he was spared from any further embarrassment as they reached Edon’s door, and embarrassment left his body as fear flooded in. His mind hadn’t gotten this far when he’d been considering going with Edon. It was late. Food had been brought into their meeting, so they didn’t need to eat, and he couldn’t think of anything else he could do with Edon that didn’t hallow out a pit in his stomach. But it was late, and they were all tired. Was he to stay the night? Even if he and Edon didn’t _do_ anything, where would he sleep? Should he go back to his own apartment? Would Edon invite him to bed with him? The worries were piling atop one another, heaping into a stack so large Torak couldn’t even bear to sort through them all.

Edon gave his hand a little squeeze, and he jolted back to reality to see the door was already open before them, but Edon was still standing right beside him.

“I know you’re worried about us.” He told him quietly, gesturing between the two of them with his free hand. “I don’t blame you if you want to go slow. With everything that’s happened, I think we should be going slow.”

He reached out and cupped the side of Torak’s face with his hand for a brief moment.

“You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.” He told him. “And we won’t do anything you don’t want to do. You can stay the night or not, it’s all up to you.”

The gentleness with which he spoke the words nearly undid him, and he was nearly leaning into him by the time he stopped speaking, his grip firm on Edon’s hand. The last thing he wanted to do was leave, but Edon had set the ball in his court. Whatever he wanted, whatever he was comfortable with. But what exactly was that?  
  


“I’m tired.” He said, almost to himself, though Edon nodded, but said nothing, giving him the space to figure out what he wanted. He should go back to his apartment, get some rest, figure out this whole thing with Edon later, but…

“I don’t want to be alone.”

His voice was deathly quiet, and he almost wasn’t sure Edon heard him until he nodded in understanding.

“You could stay the night if you wanted.” He supplied finally. “We could share my bed, or one of us could take the couch, if that would make you more comfortable.”

Torak nodded slowly. “Yeah.” He breathed, “I’d like that.”

Edon let go of his hand once he spoke, and he nearly protested until he realized why he’d done it. He watched Edon step ahead of him, into the apartment, leaving him on his own in the hallway. A final choice, even though he’d already agreed to going inside and spending the night, Edon wouldn’t pull him into it, wouldn’t lead him to do what he wanted. He let himself take a final moment to decide, to try not to be so overwhelmed by the kindness of the gesture even as it threatened to swallow him whole. He took the moment, and stepped though the door, following Edon inside.

Even from the entryway, Torak could tell Edon’s apartment was much nicer than his own. Being one of Zavala’s lieutenants certainly came with its perks, he supposed, as he could already see Edon’s apartment was quite a bit larger, even if it looked to be formatted similarly. Edon led him into the entryway, letting Torak push the door closed behind him as he flicked on the lights and released his Ghost to the apartment. Torak watched the little machine go, and within moments lights were flicking on all over and the heater was turning on to drive the winter’s cold from the previously empty apartment.

“Why don’t you shower first?” Edon suggested, “I should probably clean everything up a little bit. Do you want me to make up the couch for one of us?”

Torak bit his lip. It was certainly unfamiliar territory, but he knew well that even if Edon hadn’t offered to take the couch just yet, if he found Torak wasn’t comfortable sharing the bed, he’d undoubtedly insist on taking the couch himself. Torak didn’t want to make him give up his own bed, but at the same time, there was just a bit of want hidden below the fear of those unknowns.

“I wouldn’t mind sharing the bed.” He told Edon quietly, and the other Titan lit up like one of the apartment lights.

“Great!” He said with a grin. “I’ll change the sheets.” He told him confidently, and at Torak’s confused look he quickly explained. “It’s a post-battle tradition of mine.” He told him, “I change the sheets on the bed after every major battle we fight as a team, no matter how recently I’ve changed them.”

Torak could only raise a brow in question. “Why?” He asked, and Edon shrugged.

“There’s nothing like showering after a long day of fighting and climbing into a clean bed.” He told him, motioning for him to follow him further down the entryway. “I guess you’ll see in a bit.” He said, and the little smile he gave him at that brought butterflies to Torak’s stomach.

He led him through the second door off the entryway, just across from the kitchen, and brought Torak into a bathroom that could only be considered massive for a single bedroom apartment. There were two doors to enter the room, one being the door they’d just gone through, set into the longer side of the rectangular room, against the hallway, the other just to their right, likely leading into Edon’s bedroom. To their right, a half wall stood, and below it a large countertop stretched for a few feet, with a deep sink sitting at its far end, just beside a second half wall that blocked most of the toilet behind from view. Along the wall at their right, an open closet sat, its doors slid wide to reveal a washer and dryer sitting inside, both much newer and nicer than those in Torak’s own apartment, not that the washer and dryer were the items to be jealous of in the bathroom. On the shorter wall to their left, across from the washer and dryer, a walk-in shower took up the whole length, a rain shower visible through the clear glass wall and door that enclosed it. It was decorated in fine white tiles, with a strip of small gray and black tiles running at over the wall at head level. More tiles covered the shower’s floor, thick slabs of light gray that sloped gently downward to the drain that appeared only as a thin grate, a strip of dark metal that ran along the end of the shower.

As if Torak wasn’t already surprised at the niceness in the room, tying it all together just across from him sat a massive bath tub, built out of the wall, a little alcove even accommodating its size. It was easily big enough for two, and deep enough that it required a step up to even climb into it, a stair of tiles running around the front length of it. Torak must’ve been staring, because Edon fixed him with a grin.

“Zavala gave me the apartment when he promoted me.” He explained to him, “I tried to say no at first, but it certainly has its perks.”

Torak actually swore, his brows high. “No kidding.” He remarked, and if he could just use that shower, he was pretty sure his heart would be officially content.

“Use whatever you’d like.” Edon told him. “There’s clean towels under the sink.”

Edon left him alone without much fanfare, and he had his Ghost summon him a change of clothes from his own apartment as he looked over the room once more. The idea of being with Edon was wonderful already, but he’d _never_ been in a bathroom this nice, ever. Still, he was exhausted, and despite the nerves running through him just for being here, sleep was calling to him, loudly. As he moved to shed his armor, his muscles seemed to remember their aching, and he actually had to sit down on the step up to the tub to even manage sliding out of his greaves.

Below his armor, his body was riddled with leftover scrapes and bruises, all the injuries his Ghost had deemed too small to heal. Normally, they’d have gotten healed altogether as soon as he’d received an injury large enough that his Ghost had to heal it, but these must’ve been leftover from the end of the fight, when none of them had felt pressing enough to warrant any attention. He noticed each one now as he carefully piled his armor on the floor beside him. The backs of his hands were scraped below his gloves, his forearms were bruised from taking some sort of hit he couldn’t recall, a few scratches ran along his back and his chest, even his feet and ankles were blistered and bruised from the tightness of his greaves. His Ghost must’ve sensed his thoughts, for she floated into existence just in front of him, peering over his injuries before enveloping them in a healing glow. Had it been after any other battle, she probably wouldn’t have healed them, for fear of using up too much of his light, but this battle had been different.

Though the fight with Riven had been harrowing, the whole team had been strong, more ready for the battle than Torak had ever seen them. Their light had fed off one another the whole time, fueling each other with their own power in a way that had left their light almost always bursting. Damian had replenished them with his Dawnblade, Edon had protected them in his Ward of Dawn, and Ada, Akshay and Tessa had used their light so well they’d dropped motes of it all over the field, fueling each of them with their efficiency. His own light had thrived the whole battle from it, and even now it filled him up so completely it was almost foreign.

He watched as the glow faded, and his wounds and light sunk back below his skin, leaving him with only his aching muscles to hinder him as he shed the last of his armor and began to worm out of his undersuit. He wriggled out of it easily enough, and slipped out of the last of his clothes as his Ghost transmatted them away and started up the shower for him.

He had to stifle a groan as soon as his aching muscles came into contact with the hot water, and he felt his body relax into the spray as he let out a deep breath. He let himself take longer than usual to shower, working to stretch his out his sore muscles as the bathroom filed with heat. By the time he was done, his whole body was pink from the hot water, and a new wave of drowsiness was rolling over him so heavily he felt ready to collapse. He dressed in the clothes his Ghost had summoned for him, loose pajama pants and a soft gray t-shirt, and he found his way out of the bathroom, back into the hallway across from the kitchen.

A few feet down, Edon’s bedroom door had been opened wide, and Torak peeked in to find the freshly made bed Edon had been so excited to complete. The dirty sheets had been thrown onto a desk in the corner of the room, haphazardly bundled atop a mess of data tablets and papers that contained a collection of diagrams and maps, as well as a list of times and names he didn’t allow himself to read. Edon had told him he worked on the wall, and he already knew Edon was frequently posted out at the outposts surrounding the City with a whole squadron under his command. Whatever was on the desk probably had to deal with that, and though he didn’t let himself read any of the documents, his heart went out to Edon. He couldn’t imagine having to deal with everything that their team dealt with in terms of fighting and protecting humanity, as well as having to manage a whole squadron full of people.

But Edon wasn’t in the bedroom, so he left it for the living room, finding Edon wasn’t there either, nor was he in the kitchen, or out on the balcony. Quickly running out of places to look, he returned to the hallway beyond the entryway, finding it’s light was dark, but that the door just in front of the bathroom had been cracked open, light spilling into the hallway. He padded over to it, nudging the door open enough for him to see inside, and found the room to be a weapons storage room, likely twice the size of his own.

The wall was covered in mostly rifles. Torak counted three pulse, four scout and two auto rifles, along with two snipers, two hand cannons and three sidearms, all set neatly on their own mounts. A few of them Torak even recognized. Outbreak Perfected, The Jade Rabbit, Sunshot. Along the far wall, he’d placed heavy weapons, rocket launchers and machine guns and even a few swords neatly displayed on the wall before him. In the center of the room, Edon himself stood, dressed in his undersuit, his back to Torak as he spread his armor out over a metal table

Torak watched as he carefully laid his hands on it, one piece at a time, and he felt the shift in Light as Edon’s power flowed into the armor, restoring and infusing it before he lifted his hands and moved onto the next piece. They were both silent as he worked, and Edon didn’t turn to look at him as he touched each piece, then carefully set them onto an armor stand just to the left of the table, arranging it all like it was his most prized possession, the armor gleaming at him like it indeed was. In the polished chestplate, he could make out Edon’s eyes peering at him though the reflecting surface as he worked, but he said nothing to him as he continued, his hands moving easily over the pieces.

Only after he’d arranged the whole set, mark and all, and had set the little scarf of fabric he’d worn earlier—the one that had matched Ada’s cloak—onto the chest plate just where it had rested on himself, did he turn to face Torak in the doorway. His eyes were tired, and Torak worried he’d intruded on something private as Edon gave him a weak smile and rested his hand on the metal table now to his left, his thumb brushing over the edge slowly.

“Is that another one of your post-battle traditions?” Torak asked him, his voice quiet in the near silent room.

Edon nodded. “I picked this one up from Balendin.” He explained quietly, and Torak recalled the name of their previous fireteam leader. “After we took out the splicer archon priest during the SIVA conflict, the whole team spent the night at the Iron Temple and I saw him doing it. After he died, I started doing it to remember him.”

Torak watched as he lapsed into silence, raising a hand to brush it over his chestplate beside him. Not for the first time, he wished he could have been able to meet the man. The impact he’d made on Edon’s life must’ve been immense.

“You and Balinden, were you two ever…?” The words slipped from his mouth before he’d even really considered what he was asking, what history he was worming into. He realized as soon as he’d asked it, though, and he nervously ran a hand through his wet hair as Edon’s eyes rose to his.

“A couple?” Edon asked, and Torak went red as he nodded. “No.” He answered, and Torak wasn’t sure why he felt relieved. “Balendin was never interested in me. It’s just…he was the first openly gay Titan I’d ever seen in a place of high regard. He was a hero of Twilight Gap and he worked for Zavala, even the City respected him. He inspired me.”

He raised his eyes to Torak and shrugged, a little blush creeping over his own cheeks. “I also had a huge crush on him. But I know we’d have never worked.”

“Oh.” Was all Torak managed to say, but Edon just shook his head, a smile returning to his face.

“Don’t worry about it.” He told him lightly, already moving to step past him, out of the room. “He was my fireteam leader, I thought he was hot, it never went anywhere.”

Torak nodded a little numbly, stepping aside to let Edon out of the room and turning to follow him.

“You look tired.” Edon told him as he led the way down the hall and towards his bedroom, flicking off lights as he went. “I’m going to shower but you can go to bed now if you’d like to.”  
  


“Okay.” He hummed in response, only because he felt ready to collapse.

He followed Edon into the bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed as he watched him go to the large dresser that sat against the wall a few feet from the desk. He gathered up a set of clothes from its drawers, grabbed the bundle of sheets from the desk, and ducked into the bathroom without a word.

* * *

Edon couldn’t believe his luck, even if he was a little worried. This morning, he’d been sure Torak had given up on him—and was very likely more than pissed at him for walking out on him the day before—and he’d assumed he’d live the rest of his days hating his own idiocy for panicking when Torak needed his reassurance. But now? First, Torak had forgiven him—which was downright angelic considering how much of a dick move he’d pulled—then he’d _made out with him,_ and now, he was quite literally in Edon’s bed. Or on it? He wasn’t sure Torak had summoned up the nerve to climb in yet. He hadn’t when he’d left the bedroom, but perhaps he’d just been waiting for him to leave. He didn’t know, it didn’t matter.

But it did. He might’ve been two steps from growing four leaf clovers from his eyebrows with how lucky he’d gotten, but it didn’t cancel out the hesitance with which Torak was acting. It had only been last night that he’d confessed to him that he was afraid of him. What kind of mental hurdles was he forcing his way through if he felt confident enough to stay the night with him? Or did he? Edon had done everything he could to not pressure him into anything, and he’d left him alone as much as he could to give him enough time to actually think everything over. He didn’t want to push Torak into doing anything, even if it was just laying in the same bed. He’d sooner die than cause Torak to be afraid again.

The thoughts were rolling through his head as he shoved the dirty sheets into the washer with hands that were almost beginning to shake from the emotions roiling through him. He was excited—of course he was, Torak was in his _bedroom—_ and he was tired from the two days they’d just had, but worry dominated his mind. It was like he was feeling Torak’s fears himself, so worried about causing him to fear any more that he was quite literally freaking out himself. His hands shook as he slid out of his undersuit, and he tripped and nearly smacked his head against the shower door when the floor mat moved unexpectedly under his foot. Thankfully, he was able to catch himself with a hand braced on the wall beside him and another grabbing desperately at the shower door handle. He let out a sigh, glad no one had been in the room to see the spectacle of him nearly giving himself a concussion whilst naked and tired beyond belief. The emotion didn’t have long to take hold, however, as his Ghost appeared in the air beside his lowered head.

“You seem…very nervous.” The little machine remarked, his frame positioned in a way that looked like he was raising an eyebrow at him. Edon fixed him with a scowl.

“Yeah. No shit.” He shot back, finally moving his legs to take his weight again and grimacing at what the near fall had done to his stiff, sore muscles. He really needed to start stretching after he fought. That too would be quite the spectacle, a fully armored titan dropping down into the dirt of a battlefield to try to touch his toes.

His Ghost frowned, but carefully followed him as he drew open the shower door and stepped into the walk-in shower, floating high to avoid the spray of water as Edon cranked it on to full blast.

“You’re worried about him.” He observed, and Edon nodded, letting out an unguarded groan as he stepped into the hot water.

Edon’s Ghost had always been unfailingly serious. While Edon liked to live lightheartedly, and to keep his head in the clouds and his face turned towards the sun, his Ghost took things as they were, and he frequently reminded Edon to do the same. As a result, Edon had named him Severin, which meant something akin to stern or serious, though Edon being Edon, he rarely ever called him by the whole thing, taking to calling him Sev instead. As much as his demeanor could be a drag, he’d helped Edon countless times by pointing out what was real and true, and he worked to keep him grounded when he needed to be. He also frequently offered great advice.

“Yeah.” Edon breathed, his slight anger dissolving under the mist as he prayed his Ghost would have some words of wisdom to offer him this time. “He said he was afraid of me.” He recounted, “He had a nightmare about me.”

Severin only nodded, and Edon let out a little sigh, turning to let the hot water blast over his face, into his curly hair.

“I think someone hurt him.” He said once he’d turned his back to the spray again, grabbing at the shampoo bottle resting in the little alcove built into the wall. “I know that he has plenty of reasons to be afraid of me, and he hasn’t been alive that long, but in his past life, I think something happened to him that made him afraid of…being gay?”  
  


He looked to his Ghost for guidance surrounding his own jumbled thoughts, but the machine only gave a little shrug of his frame.

“It is possible I suppose.” Severin admitted. “Every Guardian that is revived comes back with their own personalities fairly intact. They’re heavily influenced by their experiences immediately after being revived, but some things are still able to linger through the process. Guardians with known deaths often fear the things that killed them in the past. It could be that Torak’s death was rooted in homophobia and through his light he was able to remember that his romantic feelings were something that warranted fear.”

Edon had to step out of the spray of water a little to fix his Ghost with a look. He’d brought it up, sure, but he hadn’t been expecting him to suggest anything _that_ bad.

“Sev, that’s awful.” He remarked at his Ghost’s questioning look, shaking his head a little to himself before he massaged shampoo into his hair. “Do you really think that’s what happened to him?’

“I have no idea.” He answered simply. “I’d have to talk to his Ghost about her thoughts on the matter, but that feels like a topic too personal to broach before your first date.”

Edon actually smiled a little at that, a little, tense smile of closed eyes and bared teeth as he ducked under the water to rinse his hair, but a smile.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “I wouldn’t ask her about it just yet.”

“Are you going to ask him about it?” Severin questioned, and he cracked open an eye.

“No?” He hedged, “At least not yet. Do you think I should?”

“I think it would certainly inform you for the future of your relationship.”

Edon hummed in consideration, chewing his lip a little as he grabbed a bottle of conditioner.

“I’d say the sooner the better,” Severin continued, “But I think we both know your situation is one you need to ease into. Asking him to open up about something that personal will put him in a place of extreme emotional vulnerability. I would recommend waiting until you two are on more equal footing.”

Equal footing. He couldn’t help but recall the look on Torak’s face when they’d stood outside his door earlier. He’d seemed so…nervous. Would they ever really be on equal footing? He prayed they’d make it there. He’d hold on for as long as he could, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he accidentally did something that had Torak reconsidering his previous actions.

He pushed the thoughts from his head with a heavy sigh, ending in a grimace as he leaned forward to set the conditioner bottle back and the hot water seared along a scrape on his lower back. His Ghost must’ve marked the gesture, the machine dropping low and ducking around the shower of water to get to Edon’s back as he tuned to let the water stream over his chest instead. He glanced back as his Ghost healed up the little injury while he rubbed conditioner into his wet hair.

“Thanks.” He murmured, and his Ghost floated back to hover above his head again, narrowly avoiding the showerhead.

“Of course.” Severin responded. “I didn’t even realize you had that.”

“Neither did I.” Edon answered, and he turned his back to the shower again and let it rinse out his hair.

“How…” he trailed off, closing his eyes against the water dripping down his face. “How do you think I should approach this?” He asked his Ghost. “He said he was willing to spend the night and share the bed, but I’m sure he’s still nervous.”

“Edon,” His Ghost said, and he listened a little more intently at the sound of his name as he couldn’t quite open his eyes, “I wouldn’t say that I am the best at giving relationship advice.” He told him, “But if I were you, I’d try to relax. If you’re nervous, he’ll probably catch onto it. Try to maintain a calm composure, but don’t be forward. Keep your distance, don’t touch him unless he initiates it, and don’t kiss him the way you did earlier today.”

“What?” Edon asked at the last part. “You mean the second time?” He’d admit, they’d made out rather…intensely after Torak had first kissed him, but once they’d been alone, they’d both relaxed quite a bit.

“The time after he kissed you.” Severin specified, “The first time you kissed him, but the second time you kissed one another.”  
  


“Oh.” Edon hummed, his face already going a little pink as his mind recalled the details. Imagining doing that again now—even if he imagined doing it while he was _not_ naked in the shower—brought butterflies to his stomach. “Yeah, he’s probably not ready for that again.”

Edon knew better to think that just because they’d done something before meant that Torak would be up for doing it again. He wasn’t sure Torak would be up for doing anything, actually. The man had looked like he’d been ready to pass out.

Edon lapsed into silence, and his Ghost returned back to his hidden place somewhere within Edon’s light as he soaped his body and finally finished his shower. By the time he’d dried off, dressed and brushed his teeth, he was practically swaying on his feet after the long day, and he opened the door to find the bedroom dark.

His eyes found Torak’s form after a few moments, already in the bed, tucked far under the blankets, only the upper half of his face and head visible above the heavy quilt. He was curled on his side on the right side of the bed, facing in, towards Edon in the doorway and the other half of the bed. His eyes were closed, and Edon guessed he must’ve been asleep as he quickly switched off the bathroom light for fear of waking him. Raising his hands to the darkness, he carefully edged his way into the bedroom, making it all of four short steps before he rammed his right foot into one of the legs of the bed and he swore.

His hands went down onto the bed for a moment as he lifted his foot from the ground and sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, doing his best to remain quiet. He was a trained warrior, and often got shot multiple times on a daily basis, yet somehow, stubbing his toe still managed to hurt like a bitch. Still, he managed to regain his composure, and pushed the air from his lungs in a breathy sigh, straightening up and moving for the head of the bed. He’d only just been reaching blindly for the blankets below when something snapped into place around his wrist and halted him in his tracks.

Fear and surprise flooded his senses, and he tugged his arm back just a little before he realized it was Torak’s hand around his wrist, and he was still holding tight to it, his face coming into view as he sat up and Edon’s eyes slowly adjusted.

“Oh- I- Sorry.” Edon managed, still overcoming the initial surprise as he knelt on the bed.

“Sorry.” Torak said at the same time, his voice drowsy and deep. “I didn’t mean to grab you.”

He quickly released Edon’s wrist, and he numbly pulled his arm back towards himself, rubbing at his wrist with his other hand.

“It’s okay.” Edon promised him, easing himself down to sit on the bed. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. I thought you were asleep; I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I think I was.” Torak answered, and Edon could hear him shift as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just woke up and grabbed you on instinct.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Edon hummed, glancing back down to the blankets. His eyes were fairly well adjusted now, enough that the light filtering though the curtained window allowed him to see Torak’s silhouette and some of his face as he looked between him and the blankets. “So, you’re still okay with this?”

Torak nodded, then spoke almost as an afterthought. “Yeah.” He promised, his voice still that tired, deep rumble that made Edon nearly shudder. He nodded himself, and they lapsed into silence that he immediately felt the need to fill.

“We should probably get some sleep, then.” He said, pulling the blankets back to slip under.

Torak made a sound of agreement, and he slid into the bed as Torak slid back to lay down. He thought back to Severin’s advice, and after a moment of shuffling, he was laying down with his back to Torak, curled on his side as he tried to keep himself well contained to one side of the bed.

“Thank you,” Torak said after a long moment of silence, and Edon twisted back to look at him. “For letting me stay, I mean.” He continued quickly. “And for before. I know I’m not the easiest person to be with. If you even want to be with me, of course. I know you never said—”

Edon twisted back around to face him as he rambled on, peering through the darkness to make out his face, pinched and tense.

“Torak, hey.” He cut in quietly, and the other man lifted his eyes. “If you’re offering, I’m accepting.” He told him, “I’d love to be with you. I’ll take anything you’re willing to give, and no matter how fast or slow you want to go, I’ll be with you for all of it.”

Torak’s eyes widened a little in shock, and his gaze flickered over Edon’s face as he struggled for words.

“You…You will?” He asked, his voice soft.

“Yeah.” Edon breathed, offering his hand out to Torak. He smiled as Torak took it in his own. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I really, _really_ like you.” He told him, and even through the darkness he could see Torak went red.

“Yeah?” He asked, and Edon nodded, giving his hand a little squeeze. “I really like you too.”

Edon smiled a little more. He’d take one really. From someone like Torak, he was impressed to even get one.

“I’m glad.” He told the other man, and he dared lift his hand to his lips, pressing a butterfly soft kiss to his knuckles. “Get some rest, okay?”

Torak nodded, and he pulled their hands close to himself, raising them to his own lips to mimic Edon’s gesture with his own lips, pressing them ever so softly against Edon’s knuckles. Then, closing his eyes and settling into the bed once more, he pulled Edon’s hand close to his chest, and didn’t let it go for the whole night.


	2. Hearts Only Heal After Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edon makes an honest attempt at a romantic dinner date with Torak. Complications quickly follow, and Edon wishes dating was the worst of his problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry for such a delay! I've been hopping from project to project for weeks, so I've done a lot of writing but hardly finished anything (rip) but now there's this!

Almost a day later, Edon stood outside Torak’s door with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Flowers. He’d followed Severin’s advice and decided to get his very manly—and very hot, though more than likely steeped in a bit of toxic masculinity—significant interest—because he wasn’t sure Torak would be comfortable with the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘significant other’ just yet—a bouquet of flowers. Traveler, what was he thinking? But he couldn’t go back on it, not now. Torak had made more than enough leaps yesterday, kissing him and sort of asking him out—or at least he’d thought that’s what it was—and even spending the night with him, so Edon figured it was about time he stepped up his game. So he’d planned dinner.

He’d booked four reservations in the span of thirty minutes, starting with a more casual restaurant he knew from the City before reconsidering and canceling to make another at a fancier restaurant also from the City. He’d reconsidered that one even faster, and had canceled it to make a third reservation at one of the little restaurants in the Tower, before he’d realized he absolutely could not do that and had made a fourth and final reservation at a nice, but casual restaurant in the City. The whole ordeal had been a train wreck of worry and phone calls and more worry, until Severin had promised him it would all be fine, and had reminded him that he couldn’t reschedule because this was his last day of leave before he had to go back to work, and he wouldn’t have another day off for another week.

As if he could really count today as a day off, anyways. Edon headed one of the eight squadrons of the Stoneborn Order, tasked with defending the wall and the outposts beyond, and while his second in command was currently leading in his stead, he’d spent nearly all day communicating back and forth with them about how the rotation was going and what he’d missed while he’d been helping Torak and his fireteam. Even his Second had decided to cut communications with him after a few hours of it, telling him to sort out his own shit before he came back to work the next day, and to enjoy the rest of his time off while he had it.

So he’d made the reservations, and had paced and paced, then had showered and dressed in casual enough but still nice clothes before he’d gone to meet Torak at his door, only to become a wreck of worry upon reaching it. Traveler, he hadn’t remembered being this nervous about these things, how had Torak managed to work up the nerve to kiss him the day before?

“Just knock.” Severin spoke at his ear. “If you stand in the Titan hallways with flowers for much longer, people are going to put two and two together.”

He shot a glance at Severin, but he was right, he couldn’t have that, at least not yet. Edon might have accepted and embraced his own sexuality in his own way, and he might have been close with his squadron and its members, but he had yet to find a way to but two and two together. To his 101st squadron, and to Zavala and the rest of Zavala’s lieutenants, he was a perfectly straight man, and while he was going to figure out a way to tell them eventually, he’d be damned if they found out not on his own terms. So he knocked.

Torak answered the door a few moments later, his Ghost floating over his shoulder. As soon as she saw him, the Ghost seemed to smile, her shell raising around her little frame in excitement.

“Hi, Edon!” She beamed, cutting over whatever greeting Torak had opened his mouth to voice.

“Hi, Edri.” Edon returned, and the Ghost only seemed to smile brighter.

“Those are pretty flowers. Are they for Torak?”

Edon actually laughed a bit as both of them went red at her words, and with a glance around at the hallway behind him, Torak took a step back to allow him inside.

“They are for Torak.” He answered the Ghost as he followed Torak inside, before turning to face the Titan himself. He let out a little breath as he hoped to expel his nerves. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner with me.” He told Torak, who blinked, then nodded quickly, though his face was still quite red.

“I’d like that.” He said, awkwardly reaching out to take the flowers as Edon offered them to him. “Were you thinking now?” He asked, to which Edon nodded.

“I can put those in water if you want to change.” Edon suggested. Torak’s face went a little redder as he glanced down at himself, dressed in loose sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt. Likely, he’d been resting all day. Edon was pretty sure he could hear the TV on softly somewhere behind them.

“Oh, yes. Sure.” Torak agreed quickly, handing the flowers back to Edon. “Right.” He took a little step back before looking to Edon once more and turning to duck into his bedroom without another word. As soon as he was gone, Edon let out a long sigh. He was _definitely_ not used to getting flustered like this. Whatever Torak did to him with his sculpted muscles and his strong jaw—honestly he looked like some Roman god or something—had to stop, or he might just die of embarrassment.

“Torak doesn’t have any vases.” Edri spoke beside him, speaking so suddenly he jumped.

“Oh…okay.” He managed once he controlled his surprise. “Is there something I should use instead?”

He followed the Ghost as she floated into the little kitchen, following her over to a set of cabinets and opening up the one she purposefully bumped into.

“You can use these.” She said, nodding her shell to a few mason jars that sat on one of the shelves. Edon took one down, setting it in the sink and filling it almost halfway with water.

“Does he have scissors?” He doubted Torak had ever received flowers from anyone before—if his awkwardness at accepting them was any indication—but someone had taught him—Eva Levante, maybe?—to cut the stems of flowers diagonally at the ends to allow them to take in more water. Given that Torak hadn’t even known what an omlette was less than a week ago, he doubted Torak would know that particular tidbit of information, but he supposed it was just another thing he could teach him.

Edri floated down to a drawer to his right, and he drew it open to find a drawer of knives carefully tucked against one side, and a few various kitchen tools against the other, one being a pair of scissors. He drew them out and found his way to where he knew Torak’s little composting bin was—every Tower residence had one, usually in the same spot—and he set the lid aside and began to carefully chop the ends of the flower stems.

He’d only just finished, and was arranging the flowers in the jar when Torak emerged from his bedroom, dressed in light blue jeans and a gray sweater, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I don’t have very much civilian clothes.” He said at Edon’s gaze. Edon only grinned at him, leaving the kitchen for the entryway again and extending his hand out to Torak as he came to join him.

“I think you look perfect.” He promised Torak, raising Torak’s hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of it when the other Titan laced their fingers together.

Torak murmured a sheepish thank you, and Edon laughed as he led him towards the door, then paused just ahead of it, his smile dying on his lips.

When he was with Torak, it was like his spatial awareness disappeared. He forgot where he was in relation to everything around him, sometimes he forgot there was a world beyond just himself and Torak. But Severin had pulled him back to that awareness just as he’d approached the door of Torak’s apartment, the door that would lead them back out into the Titan hallways. As far as he was concerned, it was this door, and his own, that kept his private life from the eyes of his squadron and the rest of the order of Titans that guarded the City’s walls and fronts. And as much as it pained him to admit, he wasn’t ready to bring his relationship with Torak out past those doors, even in such a fledgling state.

“I…” he trailed off, turning back to face Torak again. “You know how I command a Squadron that serves on the wall?” He asked Torak, forcing himself to raise his gaze to the other man’s. “A part of the Stoneborn Order?”

Torak nodded, and he shifted a little, a tell of nervousness towards Edon’s quick shift to seriousness.

“I haven’t come out to them yet.” He explained, and he dared lift his eyes again as he watched it click in his mind.

“So you don’t want to…” Torak began, but trailed off and didn’t finish his thoughts.

“I’ve come out to my Second already, her name is Amaya, she’s the closest person to me in the 101st, and there’s no keeping secrets from her.” He filled in to Torak, “And I’m fine with the fireteam knowing. I don’t have any reason to hide from them and there’s no stopping them knowing anyways. But there’s Titans in the Order everywhere in the Tower. And City militia, but if we stick to the City for dates and things like that, I’m sure we’ll be safe.”

He let out a heavy breath, trying to slow his rapid thoughts.

“What I’m trying to say is…if we could keep from doing anything too obvious while we’re out in the Tower, I’d really appreciate it.” He finally finished, glancing to Torak for his reaction.

The man had hardly even said anything on the subject and Edon already felt like his heart had been stomped on. Not by Torak, but by himself. He only prayed Torak didn’t feel the same way himself.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed, hardly giving Torak the opportunity to speak. He almost felt like he should come with a warning label. ‘Dating me requires secrecy,’ or something along those lines. Anything to avoid having to spring this conversation on Torak. “I want to tell the Order, I just…haven’t figured out how. I’m…I’m not ready for it yet. I understand if that’s not the kind of relationship you were looking for.”

“No, no.” Torak spoke quickly. “I—” he shook his head, holding tight to Edon’s hand when he tried to pull his away. “I don’t mind it.” He promised, and Edon finally quieted enough to look at him and let him speak. “I mean, it’s not what I had in mind and it’s not what I was expecting, but none of this was, and it’s still turned out better than I could have hoped.” He set his free hand on top of their joined hands. “This seems really important to you, and I get not wanting to reveal anything before you’re ready to. I don’t mind keeping us a secret.”

Edon shut his mouth before he allowed his nervous energy to bubble over once more, instead raising his eyes to look into Torak and feeling the truth in his words.

“Okay.” He breathed at last. “Okay. Thank you.” And he bit back another apology because it seemed like the nervous thing to do, instead drawing in a deep breath as he tried to calm his heart as it had begun to pound in his chest.

“Are you…ready to go, then?” He asked Torak, and he let go of his hands when Torak stepped back.

“I just need a jacket.” The other Titan answered, backing up to a set of hooks on the wall, over which a dark jacket hung, heavy enough to keep out the winter chill that was already setting in across the City. Edon’s Ghost retrieved his own and he tucked it under an arm as he opened the door for Torak when the other man returned to him in the entryway.

He gave the other man a little, still just a bit nervous smile, Torak returned it, and together they headed out into the open Tower.

Torak followed Edon out of the Tower and into the streets of the City. Together, they took the subway into the pedestrian quarter of the City, and when they emerged from the station Edon took his hand and led him through old style cobbled streets, under strings of lights and falling leaves, between the shortest buildings of the City, where everything was quaint and charming, and the people around them were just _people._ It was incredible to him that places like these still existed, places where people could feel safe and content. He saw parents with their children, a smiling baby waved at him from the pack in which it sat over its father’s shoulder, and he just stared, hardly managing his own wave in return. Parents, children, families, lovers, friends, all of them were moving around him and Edon without a care in the world. It was like the mess in the Dreaming City was within another universe, but to them, it practically could have been. They had no idea the warriors that lived and died on those fronts walked among them, or they did, but the distance kept them far enough away that they never really truly reached their minds. They were safe, this place was safe.

“This is why I joined the Stoneborn.” Edon spoke beside him. He’d laced their fingers again, likely far enough from the Tower to feel safe, far enough away from the Titans and City militia to recognize who he was and use that knowledge against him.

“I explored the City a lot when I first became a Guardian,” Edon continued, his voice somewhat low. Torak knew well enough why. Guardians, unless they were just taking a quick break from whatever missions they were on for the day, didn’t tend to advertise their roles as Guardians among civilians. Even Torak had been alive long enough to know that it was easier to just be quiet than to accept the ‘thank you for your service’s that the civilians would offer up. “It wasn’t until I made it to this place that I realized what being a Guardian was really about. Protecting people, of course, but protecting this,” he gestured around them, “this normalcy, this content.”

Torak followed his gaze around, glanced behind him in the direction that the smiling baby had gone off in. It couldn’t have been more than a year old, so where did that place it? Had the mother been pregnant during the Red War? Had it lived through their failures? Or was it somehow a testament to their success? Their victory?

“Everything we do out on the other planets, and in the EDZ and in the Reef,” Edon continued, “It’s all important, but this wouldn’t still be standing without the Order. The fallen would’ve taken it apart already, and I realized I wanted to be a part of protecting it.”

“Even if it means hiding who you are?”

The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them, but they were without bite or judgement, just genuine curiosity. Edon spoke highly of the Stoneborn Order, he always had, but how could he love it so greatly if he couldn’t even be truthful to it?

Edon’s face fell, and his brows furrowed in thought and consideration.

"It wasn’t the Order that made me hide my sexuality,” he began, and Torak felt a stab of guilt at the pained look on his face, “I’d seen homophobia before, and I saw it quite a bit among Titans. I was afraid that if people knew, it would make my Squadron think differently of me. I didn’t want to be different. I didn’t want my sexuality to be even considered when it came to my position, and being straight is normal enough that no one would think twice about it. Once I made Lieutenant, I planned to come out right away, but I was afraid of loosing my position, or being looked down on for hiding until I got what I wanted.” He raked a hand through his thick, curly hair, letting out a heavy sigh. “Now, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t feel ready, but I have no idea when I will be, either.”

“So, to answer your question,” He finished after a long pause. “Yes. Even if it means hiding who I am. The Order is worth it, protecting these people is worth it.”

He gestured around them, and though there was just the smallest bit of something else mixed in—some discontent, some wish that Edon would fight for himself, a desire to convince Edon that he too was worth protecting—he was filled with admiration for the man.

Torak had no idea who he’d been in his life past, but his Ghost had revived him with a map of scars, an untold story written out across his body. He believed he’d been a fighter, someone with honor, he hoped, and maybe someone who’d have lived up to those same ideals Edon held himself to. Someone worthy of a man willing to give up everything for the people he wanted to protect. Torak knew he was a far cry from that man now, he was selfish and naïve and often too quick to act and too slow to think, but he was trying to do better. Always, Edon inspired him to try. If people like Edon existed, people who put themselves through so much pain day-in and day-out, all for the sake of serving other people, then he could try to be better, too.

“This is the place.” Edon said, giving his hand a little squeeze and snapping him out of his thoughts. Torak glanced up just as he nodded to a little restaurant in front of them and to their left. A moment ago, they’d arrived in a large open square, a massive fountain sat in the center of it, and restaurants and shops lined the edges, seating spilling out just into the square, keeping the coming winter’s chill at bay with a scattering of umbrella heaters. Within the space, artists of every sort seemed to be showing off their talents, a painter was working to recreate a view of the square, a number of their other works on display beside them for purchase, another worked to carve the fountain’s likeness from a block of dark wood, and beside the flowing waters, a quartet of string players wove melodies together with their fingers and bows.

The place Edon was leading him towards was a little restaurant set behind the fountain, to its left side. Its seating ended just a few yards from the musicians, and Torak prayed they’d be seated outside if only for him to hear a few more moments of the beautiful melodies they crafted from their instruments.

“This place is beautiful.” He told Edon, turning his gaze from the artists as the other Titan led him towards the little reception podium set at the edge of the outdoor seating. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard live music like that.”

Had he, is this life? He must have. If the concept wasn’t innately foreign to him, it had to have been something he’d experienced before, but never like this. There were always the young street performers playing in the subway stations for loose change or a bit of extra exposure, but this felt different. It was like these artists just wanted to add something to the atmosphere of this place, they just wanted to create something and they’d rather share it with people than keep it for themselves. Regardless, Torak would still be heaping glimmer into their open cases when they left the square.

Edon followed his gaze, agreeing with a little hum. “I’ve always wanted to learn to play the viola.” He told him, and when he turned his gaze back to face the other man, Torak watched a little embarrassed smile light his face.

“Which one is that?” He asked. He wished he knew, but he hadn’t the slightest idea. From what he could tell, there were three instruments present, two players stood with little wooden pieces, tucked neatly under their chins. A third player sat with a larger instrument resting between their legs, and a fourth stood with an instrument larger still, the instrument stood upright on a little peg protruding from its base, the top of it nearly at its player’s shoulder.

“That one,” Edon pointed to the second player, holding one of the smaller instruments, in the middle beside the seated player. “She’s playing a viola, but the one on her left is a violin. The violin is a bit smaller and higher pitched, harder to learn but beautiful once it’s mastered. I like the viola for its darker sound.” He explained to Torak, his voice low as they leaned together and he pointed to each instrument.

“The seated player has a cello,” He continued, pointing to the man seated beside the viola player. “Their sound is beautiful, too, and their low notes sound incredibly rich with the right player.” He moved on to the largest one, “That one is a bass.” He explained, then smiled at Torak. “They’re used a lot for jazz music.”

Torak wasn’t sure he could call to mind what jazz music was, and he would have asked, had they not turned to the sound of footsteps behind them. A waiter had arrived at the podium before them, and after confirming Edon’s reservation, seated them at the edge of the outdoor seating. It was impossible to play to both of their nerves, but Torak let Edon take the seat with his back to the wall, purposefully placing himself with his back to the square despite the unease it picked up within his mind. Edon was good at concealing his own nerves beneath a calm, collected exterior, but Torak hadn’t missed the way he’d moved and acted on their way to the square, marking exits with his eyes whenever they entered an enclosed space, always placing himself on the danger side of Torak whenever possible, always assessing the people around him. Edon paid the price to keep these people safe, adopting with it a permanent suspicion and cation. All guardians had some part of it, the feeling that a firefight could break out at any moment and the desire to be ready for it, even in a place as tranquil and civil as this. Torak felt it in himself, in the desire to look behind him, to watch his own back, even when Edon’s gaze could’ve watched it for him.

He tried to dispel the fears with a deep breath, reminding himself that they were a part of the very reason why he shouldn’t be feeling these fears, because they’d worked to protect this place, to make it safe so that people didn’t have to live with those worries any longer. He outright forced them from his mind as Edon picked up his menu and recounted to him the dishes he liked at the restaurant, and what foods he thought would be worthwhile to try. They’d ordered their food, had gotten drinks, and Edon was having Torak try a red wine he liked when Edon’s Ghost formed just above the table between them. He glanced briefly at Torak before turning to face Edon, its shell furrowed around its eye.

“Amaya is trying to call you.” The Ghost said, “She says its urgent and that she needs to talk to you.”

Edon’s face was folded with worry as soon as the Ghost had spoken the woman’s name, and he set his wine glass down quickly as Torak recognized the woman’s name as Edon’s second in command, whom he’d mentioned earlier. He knew the Titan’s of the Stoneborn Order hardly received time off duty unless they took it as leave—just as Edon was doing now—and that Edon’s second in command was very likely leading in his stead, and if her message was urgent…

Edon bit his lip as his gaze rose to Torak, and he frowned a little more even as he reached into his pocket and drew out a little handheld data tablet.

“I’m sorry, I have to—” He began, but Torak shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s okay.” He promised, and Edon gave him a grateful look before glancing to his Ghost with the little handheld in his hand. His Ghost nodded back to him, and Edon lifted the screen to his ear, turning in his seat to face away from the rest of the seating area.

Amaya’s voice sounded through the handheld before Edon had even lifted it to his ear, and worry sparked in his gut hot and sharp.

“Edon!” She exclaimed, thankfully sounding more relieved than worried. Unfortunately, her next words came quickly, which was never a good sign. “Listen, I know that I told you to enjoy your time off but I might have to take that back. Are you busy?”

Edon blanched, frowning a little more, if it was even possible.

“I’m on a date.” He informed her, and Amaya shouted something just as the speaker fuzzed out, rendering her words incomprehensible. “Amaya? Are you okay?”

“You’ll have to tell me all about that later, but right now I need you to go somewhere private.” She told him, and Edon murmured a quiet curse as the sound of gunfire fizzed through the speakers.

“Everything okay?” Torak asked from beside him, and he raised his gaze to the other man and bit his lip.

“I’m not sure.” He answered the other man. “I’ll be right back. I think something’s happening at work.”

He chose his words carefully, already worried to be overheard by the civilians seated around them. He covered the handheld’s speakers with his palm, glancing around to see if any of them had heard the sounds of gunfire through the little speaker. He hoped they hadn’t, and he glanced once more at Torak before he excused himself from the table and ducked into the restaurant, finding his way down to an empty stairwell that led to a dark floor below.

“Amaya?” He asked once he was sure he was alone. “Are you still there?”

“Yes.” His Second’s voice came through a moment later. “Listen, I think you’re going to have to come in. We’ve been tangled up with the fallen for three hours now. They’re moving in on bravo and I’m not sure how long we can keep the militia out of the line of fire. Half the squadron’s already died about a dozen times.”

“Have you called in for backup?” He asked quickly. Skirmishes with the Fallen were frequent on the front, even ones that lasted hours at a time. Still, it unnerved him to be aware of them happening without him, and if the Titans of the Squadron were taking hits like that, he didn’t want to think about the danger the militia were in.

Since the Stoneborn’s fall at the start of the Red War, the survivors—himself included—had worked to rebuild and fill their ranks once more. They were still a little short staffed, but they’d managed to recover from much of their losses by taking on City militia as new members, integrating them into their ranks to help aid the protection of the city. They were great fighters, but they weren’t Guardians, which meant final deaths and greater risks, and Edon would be damned if they died on his watch.

“Tarakash sent a whole squad over.” Amaya told him, recalling the name of the commander of the 36th squadron, the squadron paired with Edon’s 101st. “They’ve helped a little, but they’re just not cutting it, and I don’t want to hurt us by calling for more. I think we could handle it together. Could you come in?” She asked him. The 101st had an excellent track record, and even their members would risk themselves to keep it going, not that Edon would allow it to come to that, of course. “Who’s your date? You could bring them with you.”

“He’s from my fireteam.” Edon answered, already heading back for Torak outside. Amaya did her best to keep him from taking on more than he should, even if it meant occasionally overbooking herself as a result. If she was asking him to come in, it was serious, and he had a feeling he might well need Torak’s help. “I’ll see you in fifteen. Just hold on, and call for more backup if you think you need it. Make sure the militia are safe.”

“Yessir.” Amaya confirmed, and the call disconnected with a little click.

Five minutes later, he’d found their waiter, flashed his Ghost and paid the bill, and had arranged for their food to be transmatted back to his apartment as the waiter had _not_ been keen to let it go to waste. Then, he took Torak by the hand and apologized profusely even as Torak insisted it was alright, and together they ducked into an alleyway, quickly threw themselves into their armor and then booked it to the nearest section of the wall.

It had been almost fifteen minutes on the dot by the time they drew their sparrows up to the buildings of the eastern outpost, Torak following his lead as he rushed to find Amaya amid scattering of fighters. Thankfully, the fighting seemed to have calmed down, all the Titans holding a defensive position, their guns raised, firing only at the occasional Fallen that dared duck from cover. Unfortunately, if they'd been attacking for three hours and hadn't fallen back by now, they were more than likely regrouping for a second assault.

The buildings of the eastern outpost were scattered across a series of high hills. From what Edon could tell from the sparrow ride in, the firefight spanned all of them, with the brunt focused on the building at the furthest North, Fallen using the ridges around them as cover from the building posted at the highest point in the area. They were dangerously close for comfort, and Edon could see the twenty some titans and milita that were holding the building had somewhat closed their ranks, the milita gathered in the center, behind the cover of concrete walls, or they were perched high in the lookout towers around the area, taking down the Fallen from above. But the Fallen just kept coming.

“Edon!”

He recognized Amaya’s voice just as he spotted her, crouched behind a concrete wall at the front of the little wedge the Titans had formed into in front of the building and its militia. Ahead of her was an open slope, and Edon could see the bodies of the Fallen practically littered the space. He rushed over to join her, his head ducked low, Torak just behind him as they hurried behind the cover of the concrete wall, keeping out of the way of the Titans ducking out from behind them every so often to shoot at the Fallen ahead of them.

“Glad you made it.” She told him. “The fallen are mostly hiding behind the ridge just north of us,” She began, her Ghost projecting a map of the space onto the concrete wall, with a number of enemies marked in a little valley ahead of them. “If we can send someone in to smoke them out, we can take them all out once they’re in our line of sight.” She informed him, and he glanced to Torak, who gave a little nod of acceptance.

“We’ll take care of it.” Edon promised her, already moving to stand, only for her to grip his hand and pull him back down again.

“Wait. Be careful.” She said, her tone firm. “We think they might have a walker in there. We wanted to lure it away from the buildings but we haven’t been able to, so we tore up the slope to keep it in the valley.” She pointed towards the ridge line ahead of them, where the dirt was loose and scorched like it had been hit with a good deal of explosions, likely causing some of the earth to slide down into the valley. It certainly wouldn’t hold them forever, but it would work to delay the machine, and perhaps damage the fallen while they were at it.

“Alright.” Edon answered. “We’ll be careful. I’ll signal to you when we’re in position to drive them out.”

Amaya gave him an affirmative thumbs up, and Edon motioned for Torak to follow him out to the right, picking his way along the wedge the Titans had formed, greeting them as he went. None of them paid Torak any mind, glad to see Edon and happy to have another pair of fists to help them out on the front, not to mention they recognized a fellow Titan when they saw one. It was completely in Torak’s personality to be a Titan, and though Edon would have accepted him if he were not one, this situation would have likely been a whole lot worse had he brought a Hunter or Warlock to help him defend their front. The walls and their fronts were the Titan’s responsibilities, and they would hold them until death and after.

“Did you have a good vacation, Sir?” A titan asked him, Ryan, one of the Echo squad members, likely moved over by Amaya to help reinforce Bravo. Echo was their strongest squad, both strategically and physically, most of its members had been alive since before the Red War, and its militia additions after the war had proved to only strengthen the diversity which made it strong.

Edon barked a laugh, slapping the Titian lightly on the helmet with a gloved hand, a common sign of affection between troops on the front, though it was often used by commanders or squad leaders to remind their subordinates to pay attention to the front.

“I wish it was a vacation.” He responded. “The Dreaming City might be beautiful, but the Taken and Scorn are nasty as hell.”

“That mean you’re glad to be back home with us then, Sir?” Another titan asked him, Blaz, from Bravo.

“Not in so many words, Blaz.” He replied, and a few of the other Titans chuckled.

“Shoulda taken another week, Commander.” Another chimed in.

“How can I if I have to come out here and save your assess?” He asked back, earning a bit more laughter before one of the Squad leaders quieted the group down and he and Torak moved on to the last of the concrete walls that protected the Titans from the Fallen’s attention.

From here, he brought Torak out to the right of the wedge of Titans, staying ahead of the Fallen until they were far enough away from them to circle around and come up behind the little valley they’d taken cover in. They stayed low for most of it, laying down on their bellies when they were finally in sight of the valley, going as far as to tuck themselves into a bush to hide themselves from view. Ahead of them, Edon guessed there were nearly a hundred Fallen tucked carefully into the valley, grouped close together to conceal their numbers from the militia guarding the ridge from the lookout towers above them. With the Fallen, Edon could see Amaya’s worries had been founded, a walker sat folded up in the center of the space, its legs folded over on its body to save space. How they’d gotten it so close without the squadron noticing, Edon had no idea.

“That walker will take a minute before its ready to fire.” He told Torak as his eyes scanned over the enemies before them. “If we go in with our Light, we might be able to get the rest of the Fallen to climb the ridge for the squadron to take out, then we can take the walker out together.”

Torak nodded in understanding, carefully loading all his guns. “Sounds good to me.” He confirmed.

When Torak was ready, Edon gave Amaya the signal, three pings over their comms, to which she responded with two. It had long since been their signal for ‘I’m coming’ or ‘I’m here’ or ‘I’m with you,’ and the two pings in response was a confirmation and agreement. ‘I’m with you,’ ‘I fight with you.’ Once the signal was out of the way, they rallied their Light and charged.

Torak entered the valley as a crackling, roaring fury of arc Light, Edon beside him, a blazing star of solar. He took the right side, slamming his fists into the ground with such force it sent a shockwave to the edge of the valley, forcing the fallen to either scramble to retreat up the valley’s sides, or risk getting caught in the current. On the left, Edon flung burning hammers into the masses of them, and Torak watched them scramble to retreat only to be burnt to ash in their tracks. It was really no wonder he’d been afraid of the man, but when he looked now, there was…less. Perhaps he could learn to respect Edon’s fighting abilities without fearing what they could do to himself.

The sounds of gunfire brought him back to the present, and he threw his fists into another group of Fallen that had surged to mount a counter offensive, roaring as they worked to rally their comrades retreating from the valley, only to be mowed down by the line of Titans behind them. The valley was already clearing out quicker than he’d hoped, a few Captains even rallying their troops to lead an offensive forward and out of the valley, away from him and Edon, which meant it was going well, but-

An explosion shook him off his feet, and Torak glanced beside him to see a smoking hole in the valley wall not three feet from where he’d been standing.

“The walker’s up!” He warned Edon, quickly climbing to his feet and lobbing a grenade at the thing’s legs, leaping into the air and letting the Light carry him up and over it.

“Rodger that!” Edon called in response, “I’m linking you up with the Squadron comms.” He told him, and Torak landed a few feet away from the Titan, rushing over to duck behind the shield he’d made from his Light.

A moment later, the speaker in Torak’s helmet clicked, and voices began to sweep in. Titans in Edon’s squadron, some of them calling orders to which the others would respond and comply. Still, for a battle, the channel was surprisingly clear, and Edon quickly spoke up.

“Amaya, how’s it looking up there?” He asked his second, his eyes on the walker behind his somewhat clear shield. Torak tucked close to his side as a volley of shots hit the shield, and it cracked, but Edon held firm.

“Give me a minute!” Amaya’s response came quickly, and Torak could only guess the Second was in the heat of the battle, for he heard a distant crack through the speakers, and a pained screech from a Fallen throat.

Ahead of them, the walker quickly stopped firing, and they jumped to shoot at the its legs just as Edon’s shield fell, combining their fire on the nearest one until something below the armor plating exploded and the machine slumped forward, exposing its core to cool its overheating mechanisms. Edon followed up quickly, and Torak threw up a shield before following, giving them a place to retreat to in the coverless valley. They were each able to unload a full magazine into the machine before it shot out a blast of arc and flung them back and they raced back to Torak’s shield.

They’d only just reached it—Torak sliding into place behind it, Edon just a step behind him—when a thick red laser trained on Torak’s shield and Edon lunged to grab him just as the walker fired.

Thankfully, the shield took most of the damage, but the impact still flung him and Edon straight back into the valley wall, their backs slamming into a massive boulder behind them so hard Torak’s armor cracked. He let out a groan, his head swimming as Edon dragged him to his feet and led him further from the walker, the other Titan sporting a shattered helmet and a bloody face, his left eye scrunched shut as shards of the visor stabbed into the soft skin around it.

“We’re doing good up here.” Amaya spoke in Torak’s ear, her voice now heavily distorted from whatever damage his helmet had taken in the collision. “It will take us a bit to clear out the Fallen but we’re halting their advance.”

“Great.” Edon said, though his voice was greatly pained as he flung up another shield and reached into his shattered helmet to brush the shards from his face. “Any chance you could get someone down here to give us a hand? You were right about the walker.”

While Edon spoke, a healing glow enveloped Torak, and he ducked out from behind Edon’s shield to shoot the walker’s legs again, tossing another grenade under the machine’s massive belly.

“Sure. I’m coming down to you. Sarid, you can handle this?” She asked, likely now speaking to one of the Squad leaders within the squadron.

Torak heard a man voice a confirmation, and Amaya told them she was on her way before going silent. Beside him, Edon had crouched down, and he must’ve been opting in to speak on coms for Edon could only hear his sharp swearing though the regular audio feed of his helmet. His Ghost was hovering just in front of his face, Edon shielding him with a gloved hand, even as Torak stepped over to block the two from the walker’s sight with his body.

_“Shit!”_ He hissed, and it sounded pained enough that Torak glanced back to see him recoiling from his Ghost. “Sev-“

“I’m trying.” The Ghost responded, and Torak hastily returned his gaze to the walker after watching Edon grind his free hand into the dirt with enough force to testament to the pain he was feeling, his raised hand nearly clenching into a fist as it hovered over his Ghost’s shell.

Torak forced himself to return his attention to the walker, firing at its leg to knock off another armor plate before it had the chance to fire its laser at them again. Just as it was falling forward, a grenade flew over his head and landed square on the machine’s exposed mechanisms, and Torak looked up to see Amaya leaping into the valley from the overturned side of the little walls that enclosed it, catching herself with her light to land beside Torak, her gun already blazing. Torak quickly followed suit.

“You alright over there, Edon?” The woman called, and Torak realized she was the only one in the entire squadron he’d heard not addressing Edon as Sir or commander. She and Edon must’ve been close, he knew the Titan Orders were always well organized and commanded with firm customs and courtesies.

“Yeah.” He called back, his tone holding only a bit of bite, though he was beginning to glow with a healing Light. “Helmet blew up in my eye.” He answered over the sound of their gunfire, and they quickly retreated back to him as the walker let out another arc pulse and pushed them back, away from it as it stood once more.

“Ouch.” Amaya responded, already focusing her fire on another of the walker’s legs, following it as it worked to turn to face them.

Torak followed her lead, and Edon moved to follow, narrowly ducking a heavy shot from the walker as he went. Amaya, having caught the movement and Edon’s unabashed surprise, actually laughed out loud at him, and Torak could only raise his brows in surprise before continuing the fight. In the end, Amaya demolished the walker with fists of arc energy—and one surprisingly powerful headbutt—and Torak could only stare at her in surprise and a good deal of shock and admiration. If anything else, it certainly answered one question for him. He was most definitely gay. Not because Amaya was in any way unattractive, quite the opposite, really. If Torak wasn’t attracted to a woman like her, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be attracted to _any_ woman, because Amaya seemed to very well be the cream of the crop.

When they regrouped at the walker’s steaming corpse, she offered him her hand.

“I’m Amaya, Edon’s Second.” She told him, and Torak shook her hand feeling dumb. If Edon fought beside people like this _every day,_ what could possibly make him somehow worthwhile?

“Torak.” He answered, barely managing that. “It’s good to meet you.”

“It’s good to meet you too, Torak.” She replied, and he instantly wished they hadn’t been wearing their helmets, for he could’ve sworn she winked at him from below hers.

“Thanks for saving our butts, Ams.” Edon said, finding his way to Torak’s side, setting a hand casually onto his shoulder.

“Thanks for saving mine.” The other titan returned, and Torak was sure Edon grinned behind his helmet. She glanced around to insure they were still alone. “Sorry I had to break up your date.”

Edon waved a hand in dismissal as Torak assured her it was alright. “A minor setback.” The commander assured, glancing to Torak. “I was planning on continuing it once we took care of this mess. If that’s alright with you, of course.” He added, looking to Torak for an answer.

“I’d love to.” He promised, and he wished he could see Edon’s grin, recognizing the telltale tilt of his head.

“Well,” Amaya said, stepping back. “In that case, you two should get going.” She said, gesturing up the slope of the valley that would lead them back to the front and the rest of the Titans and militia fighters.

Edon led the way up the slope, raising his rifle high above his head as they ascended, the squadron recognizing the gun and lowering their own as the trio climbed out.

“Don’t get into any more trouble without me, yeah?” He asked his Second, just as he and Torak were climbing back on to their sparrows.

“No promises.” Amaya returned; her arms crossed. “You know me.”

Edon laughed, but nodded. “I do. See you all tomorrow.” He called to the rest of the troops, and a few of them called back replies before he and Torak zipped off in the direction of the Tower.

By the time they made it back to the Tower and to Edon’s apartment, he was starving, and he’d forgotten about their arrangement with the food until he opened the door and the scent of fresh food hit him and he hummed eagerly.

“Traveler, I’m glad we got it transmatted back.” He breathed, and behind him, Torak smiled, leading Edon to grin as he rushed into the kitchen and unfolded the carefully packaged parcels sitting on his kitchen counter.

Torak seated himself at the little bar in front of him as he turned on the oven and washed his hands, then set the food out on cookie sheets to reheat in the oven.

“Thank you for coming to help with that.” He told Torak as he worked, his eyes down on his hands as he carefully transferred the food from one spot to the next. “I’m sorry our date didn’t really go as planned.”

“That’s alright.” Torak promised. “I’m glad I got to meet Amaya. You two seem really close.”

Edon hummed, his heart blooming with genuine platonic affection for his Second.

“We are.” He confirmed. “She’s been my Second for a few years now. We’ve been through a lot together.” He gave Torak a little shrug. “She’s like a little sister to me. We look out for each other.”

Edon was one of the rare cases of Guardians that had been revived with just a hint of memory of his past, just the memory of his twin sister, Ada. Severin had thought it was a sign, that Ada was to be another Guardian of the City, and Edon had agreed, and together they’d scoured the globe to find her and her Ghost. And they had, and Ada had been revived the same way, with only a memory of him. He’d heard of one or two other Guardians with blood related siblings, ones from their past lives. Some had stumbled into one another in the Tower and just known, others had been told by their Ghost’s with the help of the Vanguard database, and others had been like him. Even if real siblings were rare, he didn’t feel that it made Guardian’s found families any less genuine. After all these years, Amaya was as much of a sister to him as Ada was, perhaps even more so if the sheer amount of time they spent together was any indication.

He let out a little sigh, leaning forward over the counter, bracing his forearms on the smooth surface and holding his right fist in his left.

“She helped me get through the Red War.” He recalled to Torak. It still hurt to think much on that first night, to recall Balendin and his actions, so he nudged around the pain as he spoke, skirting the subject he hadn’t yet recounted to Torak. “After…after Ghaul, I was separated from most of the fireteam. I had been on the wall with Amaya when Ghaul attacked, and the fireteam rallied to try and take him down, but we got separated from one another while we were trying to reach him. Balendin and I didn’t even make it off the wall. Tessa made it to Ghaul, and Damian made it the furthest after her out of sheer desperation. After Ghaul took our light, we saw her fall from the command ship and thought she was dead. But Amaya and I…”

He chewed his lip. His thoughts were jumbled, around this topic, they always were, but Torak hadn’t asked for this advance, so why was he making it? He didn’t have to tell him about the hard things, the pieces of him that were still cut up inside, but for some reason he needed to. It was like he couldn’t stop talking until the truth was out, even though he’d never lied to him about it before.

“Amaya and I were Stoneborn. Our comrades were dying on the wall, our brothers and sisters, it was our duty to hold the wall until death. It was what we’d both devoted our lives to. But she told me to go. She told me the city would need me when we struck back at Ghaul, that they’d need our fireteam, but I couldn’t bear to leave her. I didn’t think my fireteam would be of any use, anyways. Balendin was…dead, and as far as I knew so was Tessa. And if Damian went after her, Estella would go after him and they’d be gone to. I thought it was my duty to die with the rest of them. I couldn’t leave, so Amaya…saved me.”

His body was growing tight as he spoke, and he blinked in surprise when Torak’s hand reached out, very carefully moving to hold onto his hands, to pry his right hand from his left. He went to take his hand but paused, and Edon watched as Torak realized his own hand was gloved, and he caught the way his eyes lifted curiously to Edon’s own as he slipped his hand free of the tight leather. His eyes reminded Edon of a child just for a moment, the way new Lights would drink in everything with the curiosity of someone adapting to a new walk of life. But there was something more in his eyes, besides inexperience and the desire for knowledge. Torak had a hunch, and he held eye contact as he laced their bare fingers together, and Edon couldn’t help the slight twitch upwards of his mouth, ducking his head when his cheeks reddened at the sight of Torak’s responding sly smile.

Apparently, Torak could read him like a book, for if Edon had any hope of classifying a love language for himself, it was physical touch. He _loved_ to be touched. Romantically and sexually of course, but platonically as well. He loved the way Torak’s hand felt in his, he loved the little moments of contact between them, the way their shoulders would bump when they walked close together, the way the backs of their hands would brush before one of them took the other’s hand. He loved the way it felt when Torak kissed the back of his hand, and he couldn’t get over how it had felt when Torak had dragged him forward by his little scarf to kiss him yesterday, or when he’d held their joined hands to his chest for the whole night, and Edon had been able to feel the sturdy rhythm of his heart in his fingers, though the soft material of Torak’s shirt.

To know that Torak had figured him out so quickly was…well he didn’t quite know. Mortifying came to mind, and he certainly was embarrassed, but another part of him _loved_ it, was nearly drunk off it. That was mortifying, too, but warmth was still pooling through his body at the new knowledge.

“So, what happened?” Torak asked, pulling him from his thoughts like he was plunging him into ice water, the coldness of the subject returning so quickly Edon nearly froze up. “How did Amaya save you?”

He chewed his lip, glancing away from Torak before answering.

“We held the wall for as long as we could, but most of Ghaul’s troops just flew right over us. They took out our antiaircraft guns, and then we were shooting them with rocket launchers, doing whatever we could to keep them away from the evacuating civilians.” He explained, hoping the shadows that crossed over his face wouldn’t reach his eyes. “After we lost the light, we started dropping like flies. We left the wall and tried to lead them to the empty quarters of the city, grabbing civilians as we went. If they were able to hold one, we put guns in their hands.” He recalled the last bit with a heavy stab of pain and guilt. That might’ve been the hardest part, admitting that the civilians would be safer defending themselves than relying on the Order’s help.

“We led the legion on a bit of a wild goose chase, splitting up and sending people to lead them in the wrong direction. Many of my troops died to buy time.” He could hardly recall their faces anymore. The next festival of the lost was mere weeks away, then he’d morn, and burn their faces into his memory all over again, along with his failures.

“When we made it to the gate in the wall where we were to escape, we saw it was already being held by Red Legion. I led the assault to break us out, but I’d already been in so many skirmishes, my armor was damaged. Amaya took a shot for me, stepped in front of me when we knew a psion was about to shoot and I was too stubborn to back down. It hit her in the leg, could have killed her. I carried her all the way to the Farm, but even after she was healed, she walked with a limp until we got our Light back.” His gaze settled on their joined hands, on Torak’s thumb, brushing along his ever so gently. “She never once complained, even when she couldn’t walk.” He struggled in a shaking breath, wiping at his eyes as they’d become glassy. “Even now, she still has the scar from it.”

He went silent for a long time, closing his eyes as he felt the way Torak continued to bush his thumb over his own, a soft, steady rhythm, like he was a metronome, and Edon was grounding himself in the constant tempo. He stayed silent until he was calm again, and he could open his eyes once more to watch Torak, the other man watching him in return.

“I’m sorry.” He said at last. “I didn’t mean to drop a bomb like that.” He breathed, raising a hand to run it though his hair, brushing his fingers along a few of the tighter curls, feeling their familiar curves and dips.

“I don’t mind.” Torak promised, his voice soft. “I know the war is hard to talk about. I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me about it.”

Edon managed a weak, strained smile. Comfortable was not a word he’d use, but he’d spoken on his own accord, without much prompting or encouragement. He wasn’t usually closed off, but all of that was personal. He’d never come out and told anyone about it like that, and to be honest, it left his mind reeling as a result.

“Thanks.” He replied, a tad awkwardly, though he didn’t want to think it was. “It’s nice to have someone willing to listen.”

Torak gave him a little smile, and Edon returned it as best he could, turning away when his Ghost brushed his consciousness with his own, and he glanced back to the oven, where the food was likely good and hot after all the time they’d spent talking. He grabbed a hot pad from a nearby drawer and opened the oven, taking out the cookie sheet to set it on the stove. Once he’d set their meals onto plates, he handed one to Torak, following him out of the kitchen and towards the living space, only as Torak went to draw out a chair at the table, he shook his head, instead leading Torak on to the couch at the far end of the open room, just beside the sliding glass door that would lead to his balcony.

He set his plate down on the coffee table in front of him as Torak followed him over, taking a seat beside him as Severin appeared in front of them and turned on the wall screen across from them, putting on a crucible match.

“Ada has a match on today.” He told Torak, “mind if we watch it?”

The other titan gave an accepting shrug. “Sure.” He said, “It’ll be fun to not be the one getting beat up by her this time.” He said, and Edon chuckled.

“You held your own fairly well.” He protested, though it was the exact opposite of what he’d said initially after Torak had agreed to face Ada in the Crucible. Torak knew the lie when he heard it. He’d gotten his ass handed to him on a silver platter, no amount of favor or attraction Edon had towards him would change that fact.

“Don’t lie to me.” Torak responded, but his tone was light, and Edon laughed a little, the other giving him a grin. “She’s a beast. She didn’t even want to take a day off after yesterday?”

“This is her day off.” Edon answered, turning the volume up on the wallscreen just a little. It certainly didn’t need much. Ada’s match was still not for another ten minutes or so, but most channels only ran the high-end crucible matches, and Shaxx was already shouting at various Guardians as the feed switched from person to person.

“Tomorrow, she goes back to training rookies.” He explained to Torak. “She’s been using her time off to keep fighting to keep her skills up and bring in a bit more glimmer. Not to mention, her sponsors will drop her if she stops playing.”

Torak frowned at that, pausing his reach to his food. “That sucks. She’s such a good fighter, you’d think she’d have her sponsors practically eating out of her hand by now.” He remarked, and Edon laughed at the mental image the words summoned. Ada dealt with a good deal of old, stuffy businessmen. The idea of them eating out of anyone’s hands was…well, weird.

“As much as we use it as a training tool, it’s easy to forget that the Crucible is a business for civilians and Guardians alike.” He explained. “If Ada doesn’t bring in enough viewers, her ratings will tank, and no one wants to sponsor someone who doesn’t play.” He told Torak, but when he kept frowning, he reached over to set a hand on his knee reassuringly. “Ada still likes playing in the Crucible.” He reminded, “And she could do fine on her own without playing in the top matches and getting funded by her sponsors. It’s her choice to keep them around and jump through their hurdles.”

Torak didn’t seem convinced, but he settled into the couch a little more. “Alright.” He answered, leaving it at that, though he did nudge a little closer to Edon on the couch, until their legs were brushing against one another, and when Edon glanced down at them, and then back up to Torak, the other Titan gave him a knowing wink.

His mouth fell open just as heat flooded his cheeks. Torak really _had_ figured him out that quickly, and he now he was actually teasing him about it?

“Are you serious?” He managed, and Torak tried to hide his grin with a hand.

“What?” He asked, clearly doing his best to feign innocence even as he laughed. “I’m not doing anything.”

Edon couldn’t stop his laugh, giving the other man a light shove.

“Did Amaya talk to you while I wasn’t looking or something?” He asked. Torak could be perceptive, sure, but he hadn’t expected him to peruse his newly confirmed hunch so quickly.

“She knows you like this stuff, too?” Torak asked, reaching a hand out to grip Edon’s knee, just as he’d done to Torak not a minute before.

“She knows everything about me!” He shot back, slapping Torak’s hand away and trying not to blush when the other man laughed.

“Okay,” Torak raised his hands in surrender, “I’ll stop, but no, she didn’t talk to me.” He answered, and Edon hummed in response, narrowing his eyes at the other man with lingering suspicion.

Still, he relaxed beside him, and they settled into one another’s sides as their gaze returned to the wallscreen ahead of them. After they’d finished their food and set their plates aside, Edon laced their fingers.

“This is a big jump from how you were acting two days ago.” He recalled to Torak, his voice quiet now, cautious. “Are you alright with that?”

Torak’s hand tightened a little on his, and with how close they were, Edon could hear him swallow before he answered.

“It was…harder at first. Last night was good, but it was harder. But you were patient with me. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want to.” He explained to Edon slowly, and Edon recalled his conversation with Severin the night before. “It feels like its in my hands now. I know I’m not very…experienced with all this, but it’s reassuring to know I can set the pace. It makes me feel like I have at least some control over what happens.”

Edon’s heart clenched at the words, hearing them out in the open, there was vulnerability exposed there, and Torak hadn’t flinched away from bearing it to him. He raised their hands to his lips, pressing a kiss on Torak’s bare knuckles.

“I’m glad.” He told the other man. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything. And if you wanted complete control, you could have it. I just didn’t want you to have to be the one to start everything.”

Torak nodded in understanding, a little dip of his chin.

“I know.” He answered. “Thank you for dinner, and for this.” He gestured at them with his free hand. “And I know you feel bad about what happened with your squadron, but I actually kind of liked it.”

Edon tilted his head, twisting to get a better look at Torak’s face.

“You did?” He asked, brows furrowed in question.

“Yeah.” Torak hummed. “It was neat to see you with your Squadron. All of those guys seem to really respect you. You seemed like a big family.”

Edon huffed a bit of a laugh at that, just a puff of air through his nose. He’d heard jokes about the squadron being one big family, with himself as the doting mother, and Amaya as the cool and collected dad—he hadn’t asked for the gender roles to be swapped, but they fit better that way. In a way, the whole idea wasn’t so far off, as long as one didn’t look into it too much. Edon had worked hard to teach his squadron to look after one another, and it was a large part of their success now. He and Amaya looked after one another and the squad leads, the squad leads looked after their squads, and the squads looked after each other, and everyone was willing to lend a hand to someone in need.

“It is.” He answered Torak at last. “Or at least we try to be.” He settled back against the other man’s side, but there was just a little bit of tension in the way he spoke the last few words, and Torak caught it with a little frown.

“You worry about them?” He guessed, and Edon nodded. If he didn’t, he would have just asked another squadron to help them out instead of cutting their date short to haul ass to come to their aid. 

“The darkness is getting stronger all around the system.” Edon murmured. He could hardly make his voice more than a whisper, could hardly turn his gaze to look at Torak. “Maybe that Drifter guy is getting to me, but after what happened with Riven and the Dreaming City…it feels like its only going to get worse. After everything that’s happened…” He let out a heavy sigh, taking a long pause, but Torak stayed silent, letting him gather his thoughts.

“Cayde’s death has the Vanguard in splinters.” He confessed. “Ikora and Zavala aren’t agreeing anymore and everyone knows it, and Zavala’s stress is bleeding into the Order. Half of the Lieutenants don’t get along anymore, and all the squadrons know it. Tensions are high everywhere. People are leaking files from the Vanguard database, half the best Guardians in the system are fucked up and the other half look like they’re two steps from going rogue. Not to mention any Hunter who’s anyone is avoiding the Tower like the plague.” He drew in a deep breath. These worries had been building for a long time. He’d spoken to Damian briefly about them, but the Warlock had already been overloaded with so much, he hadn’t wanted to bother him. Voicing them all felt a little better, but it made them more real, too.

“The City looks weak, and it scares me.” He told Torak. “Every time Amaya calls me; I worry half the Squadron will be gone when I get on comms. I worry that the Fallen have noticed how scattered we are, and they’ve realized now would be the time to strike. Or that someone is going to come back, Ghaul or whoever was in line for the throne after Oryx. I feel like the other shoe is about to drop and it’s paralyzing waiting for it.”

Torak was silent beside him, and didn’t speak for long enough that Edon sighed and turned his gaze to look at the other man, finding his eyes already searching his face. Gently, Torak slid his hand from Edon’s and raised it, Edon turning to face him more fully as he did, bending his left leg to lay on the couch between them, just as Torak carefully cupped Edon’s face with his hand. It took him a moment to realize he was trailing his thumb ever so lightly over the soft skin below his left eye, the same spot where his helmet had shattered into while they’d been fighting the walker.

“The Vanguard can figure themselves out. Even without Cayde. Ikora is a genius and there’s never been a man more devoted to the City than Zavala. It doesn’t matter if they don’t get along, they’ll always do what’s best for the city.” Torak told him gently, his thumb still tracing over that spot. “As for the Order, I don’t know much about it, but I know your squadron will be fine. With you and Amaya, they have nothing to worry about. The rest of the Guardians will figure themselves out with time. Cayde’s death hit hard, but it’s not something we all can’t handle.” He let his hand drop, bringing it back down into his lap.

“And maybe the other shoe will drop.” He said, “But the Darkness has never kept us down for long before. They can hit us as hard as they want, we’re always going to find a way back up again.”

Torak gave him a sure smile, the smile of a Guardian that had taken everything that had ever tried to throw him in stride, even all the near deaths and failures. Edon let himself be reassured by that little smile, and he leaned into Torak’s touch when his hand found his face again, and the other titan leaned forward, pressing their lips together gently.

“It’s going to be okay.” He told him once he’d pulled away. “I’m with you.”

And Edon knew he didn’t just mean in that moment. It was a promise, a commitment, because they couldn’t deny the inevitable, things would go wrong eventually, but Torak was promising he’d be there until they did, and after, too.

“I know.” Edon breathed in return. “I’m with you, too.” And he reached his hand out to hold the back of Torak’s head, melting into the ease of the contact as they pressed their lips together once more, and something in his blood knew Torak wasn't lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked that! I've been trying to read up on the lore and stuff, so if any of you are lore junkies and noticed my rendition of the Stoneborn order, I hope you don't mind what I've done with them. I know it's not entirely cannon compliant, and I had to make up my own take on how the defense of the wall works, but I think it makes sense this way. If you liked that little part of the chapter, you'll be happy to know that I'm currently working another Edon/Torak work that takes place almost entirely out on the front with Edon and his Squadron, and a lot of the dynamics briefly touched on in this chapter are widely expanded upon in there. But anyways, I hope you all liked it, until next time!
> 
> Also the square Edon and Torak visit is inspired by a square I very vaguely remember from the time my family went to Rome. I tried really hard to figure out where it was and what it was called and had no luck, but I know the fountain in it was really big and famous, and the water from the drinking fountains was bomb. Yay, Rome.
> 
> Edit: It was Trafalgar Square of Rome. Very pretty. Good gelato.


	3. 'Cause Darling, I Get Scared for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torak and Edon reunite after a week apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! OMG I am soo sorry I haven't uploaded any chapters for this story recently!! It's been way too long! College is kicking my butt so I've been having a lot of trouble finding time to write while also trying to do all my homework and actually make some friends. But here! I've done it! A chapter just for you! (And for me but it's fine we don't have to mention that)

Torak wished he’d realized how much he should’ve cherished Edon.

After their date, he and Edon had watched Crucible matches on the couch for a good few hours, until the sun was far below the horizon and it felt like it was time for him to take his leave, but he hadn’t quite realized how long it would be until he’d see the other man again. He’d returned to his apartment before it had hit him, Edon—being in the Stoneborn order and having just taken over a week of leave—wouldn’t be getting another day off for another week. And, to pile on, Edon was spending that week out on the front with his squadron, and given the way he worked and stressed and cared about his squadron, he was likely going to need the day off to rest more than anything else.

Yes, he certainly wished he’d realized that sooner. It wasn’t that a week was such a horribly long time, but not seeing Edon for that time meant Torak had to return to what his life had been like before a week ago, before he’d actually decided to pursue his feelings with Edon, but how exactly was he to even try to do that? He understood that there had been a trend between him getting into dangerous battles and situations he couldn’t handle on his own, and Edon’s presence with him, but despite how illogical it was, he genuinely didn’t want to go into a battle without Edon with him. Since he’d joined the fireteam, it had been Edon’s job to train him, and to bring him up to speed. He’d take days off to bring Torak to new spots in the system, where they’d fight through new enemies and Edon would give him tips and pointers while he fought. If he’d been good enough to fight Riven with the fireteam, he probably didn’t need Edon training him any longer…but he would miss the excuse to spend time with him.

Still, there would be plenty to take care of. They’d released a curse on the Dreaming City, and it certainly wouldn’t purify itself, but to go back there without Edon was…less than ideal. But he supposed he’d manage. He had to, after all.

When he got back to his apartment, there was a message waiting for him, Tessa asking for his help in the Dreaming City. Apparently, Damian, Estella and Praxedes were diving headfirst into finding answers that would explain the Hive attack they’d all gone through days before, along with juggling the extra duties both Warlocks had taken on that were normally delegated to Cayde-6. The rest of the clan was just as busy, too. Ada was still training rookies in the Crucible, but he knew she’d also stepped up to scout in place of some of the Hunters that had gone silent since Cayde’s death, desperate to avoid being roped into the Hunter Vanguard’s spot. She’d gotten Akshay to do it too, though Akshay had already served as a scout, and was really just taking on more assignments than he normally should have. And then of course, there was Edon, but he was always busy, it seemed.

That left himself, and Tessa, and though he certainly didn’t mind having something to do, and having an incredibly competent person to do it with, he knew Tessa needed time and rest, both of which she was very unlikely to get. As well as she fought, he knew Tessa was a wreck mentally. He couldn’t think of anyone that had been hit harder than her by Cayde’s death, save for maybe the Vanguard leaders. But the Vanguard leaders hadn’t held the dying man in their arms. Nor had they spent two weeks carving their way across a lashing of rocks for the sole purpose of revenge, knowing full well it wouldn’t solve any of their problems.

The thoughts were in his head when he met her in the Dreaming City the next day, sticking with him the whole time as they worked together to clear out Taken and Scorn. Those thoughts, as well as the realization that he’d lent a hand in releasing this curse on the Dreaming City. When Damian had kicked him off the fireteam for the mission to kill Riven, he’d wanted so badly to help, to eradicate the monster within the city and to save it from whatever plagued it. To know he’d really only done the opposite stung in a way he couldn’t quite explain, because yes, he’d done the right thing, but how could the right thing lead to such corruption?

He and Tessa hardly spoke the whole day, the hours bleeding together into a world of dead scorn and taken, trips into the ascendant realm leaving him shivering and cold even in the bright, warm sunshine, and by the time he limped his way home to the Tower, he felt himself longing for the warmth of Edon’s bed, the other man curled on his side just inches from him. The thought unnerved him beyond belief in a way he couldn’t quite explain, but he did his best to let the fears go. Not to mention they did little to nothing to quell the desire to be close to the other man. He hadn’t even made it to his apartment before he was wondering if Edon was busy, trying to conjure up excuses to call him.

He didn’t really need to tell him about what had happened in the Dreaming City that day, and really it would be only depressing to tell him they didn’t have any idea of how to break the curse on the city. He could ask Edon about his day, though. That was what people did in relationships, right? He did genuinely want to know. He hoped Edon hadn’t had as bad of a day as he and Tessa had, or he could ask if anything had come of the Fallen attack on the front the day before.

He voiced most of the thoughts to his Ghost, Edri, asking for her advice through their bond, pushing his words to her mind until he could feel her light frustration. She’d told him no less than four times now that he didn’t need a reason to call Edon, if he wanted to, then he should. But was it that simple? Edri believed it was, but if he was ignorant of the world and its functions because of his newness to being a Guardian, Edri was idealistic, even if she was much older than him.

But he wanted to believe she was right, and perhaps against his better judgement he took her advice. He peeled off his armor and showered, then dressed and dropped onto his bed, having Edri link his comms to a data tablet before he had her connect him to Edon’s usual com frequency. It took only a few moments before his tablet clicked, announcing Edon had connected to the other side.

“Hey, Edon.” He greeted, trying his best not to sound too awkward, though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sound a little shy.

“Torak?” Edon asked, sounding more surprised than anything else. “I was…just about to call you actually.”

The words piqued his interest instantly, and he found himself sitting up a little more, not that it would allow him to hear the tablet any better, the little device set atop his chest.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Edon hummed, and he heard a little rustle sounding through the coms. “I wanted to hear your voice.” He paused. “Is that weird?”

Torak blanched. “I don’t think so.” He replied, though it was a little bit of a weird concept that Edon wanted to hear _his_ voice. Flattering, he supposed. “I wanted to hear your voice, too.” He admitted a tad quieter.

“Oh.” Was all Edon said before lapsing into silence.

Torak coughed before it could drag on.

“So, uh, I guess that means you’re not busy?” He hedged.

“Nope.” Edon answered, and he let out a little sigh. “Everything’s pretty well handled now, the squad leads or their seconds take care of most everything at night so Amaya and I can sleep. She’s just finishing up checking over the patrols scheduled for tonight.”

Torak hummed in understanding, though only really because he wasn’t sure what else to say. Perhaps he should’ve thought this out a little more before he called. Thankfully, Edon stepped in before he could panic too much.

“So, what did you do today?” He asked, and Torak frowned at the question, sinking back down onto the bed.

“Tessa and I went back to the Dreaming City.” He answered, only a tad reluctantly. “We were running missions for Petra, really. She’s trying to track down the location of the last Techeun.”

“Has she made any progress?” Edon asked, and Torak grimaced. He hated being the one to deliver bad news, hated that the Dreaming City was just one bad situation after another and there was nothing he could do to fix it, no matter how hard he tried.

“Not really. Any time we thought we found her we lost all traces of her. It was like she was moving in and out of the ascendant realm at will. We couldn’t keep track of her.” He explained to the other man.

“Petra will find her.” Edon promised after a moment of thought. “And if the other Techeuns are helping her out, I’m sure they’ll be able to pin her down soon. I just hope it won’t take as much to purify her as it did the other two.”

Torak hummed in agreement. “Me too.” It had taken all six of them to purify the other two Techeuns, even with their light as strong as it had been during the fight. If it was going to take that much again, Torak was sure they could manage it, but it certainly wouldn’t be easy. Their whole clan was scattered again, all of them returning to their usual work just as Edon had, or being tasked with cleaning up the mess that was still spilling across the tangled shore and the Dreaming City. To get them all back together again once they actually managed to track down the Techeun would be difficult to say the least.

“We’ll figure it out.” Edon promised him, “If you and Tessa need our help, the team will be there for you, no matter what.”

Torak couldn’t help but lapse into silence at that. He’d always known the team as a collective—and as individuals for that matter—put the team above everything else, but hearing Edon say it to him, it struck a little deeper. He still felt so new, so unaccustomed. He hadn’t lived through the trauma they all had, they still had to explain what had happened in the previous wars and conflicts, who various enemies were and why they were important. He didn’t even understand a lot of their jokes. He was just so…separate. The idea that the team would be there for _him…_ But he believed Edon. He heard it in the way he spoke, he wouldn’t lie to him, not about something like this.

“I’m just hoping it won’t take the whole team.” He managed, just as he realized the silence had dragged on for too long. “If Petra can even find her in the first place.”

“She will.” Edon promised again. “Petra’s been through too much already, she won’t stop until she can reunite all that’s left of Mara’s court. Not to mention, with the Techeuns united they might have the power to actually retrieve or at least contact Mara, which I’m sure is another motivator.”

Torak nodded in understanding, his attention growing more rapt when a door opened in the background of Edon’s channel, a feminine voice meeting his ears.

“Who are you talking to?”

He recognized the voice of Edon’s second in command, Amaya, recalling her from when he’d met her with Edon the day before.

“Torak.” He heard Edon answer as the door creaked closed. “Is that alright with you? I can try to find an earpiece…” He trailed off; rustling sounded through Torak’s tablet.

“It’s fine with me, as long as you don’t mind me hearing your conversation.” Amaya answered, and Edon paused his rustling.

“Torak?”

“Sure, I don’t mind.” He answered, because though he didn’t know Amaya well, Edon seemed quite fond of her, and that was enough for him to trust her. “How did everything go after the fight yesterday?” He asked, “Have you had any more trouble with the Fallen?”

“No.” Edon answered. “It seems like they’ve backed off since we took care of them yesterday. Unless they’re planning something big, the Fallen don’t usually launch back-to-back assaults. I’m hoping they’ll lay low for the rest of the week, but I doubt we’ll get that lucky.”

Torak could hear Amaya’s voice, mumbling something low in the background, but her voice was too quiet to make out. Edon let out a little sigh.

“Either way,” He continued before Torak could say anything. “We’ll handle them. We always do.”

Torak hummed in agreement and understanding, and when they fell into another silence, he did his best to steer the conversation into lighter topics, asking Edon about his day and listening to the man go on about his squadron until they were both yawning and generally quite exhausted from their long days. When their coms disconnected and he tucked himself into his bed, he felt warm. Not quite as warm as he’d been with Edon actually with him, but if this was what he could get, he wasn’t about to complain.

Torak didn’t see Edon again for the rest of the week. He spoke to him every night before he crawled into his bed and collapsed from all of his and Tessa’s work in the Dreaming City, but he wasn’t able to see him until the end of his rotation on the front at the end of the week.

He’d just arrived back at the Tower. Hours earlier, Tessa had gotten a call from Petra saying they’d found the last Techeun, Sedia, in a temple in the Dreaming City. Tessa had relayed the information to him, and they’d grabbed Akshay to help them out before they spent hours fighting their way through hordes of Taken to reach the woman, only finally reaching her and managing to purify her with their light after long hours of frustration and fighting. The whole process had been exhausting, and Torak was practically swaying on his feet as he exited his ship, and somehow, he’d picked the short straw and had found himself volen-told to report back to Zavala on the mission. Being the rookie member of the team _really_ had its perks.

He’d managed to get some handle on himself as he left the hangar, and he was more or less awake and alert when he found himself descending the steps towards the door to Zavala’s office, a familiar voice met his ears over the gurgling of the fountain outside. His steps quickened almost without his own input on the matter, and he entered the office quickly to find exactly who he’d expected standing in front of Zavala’s desk.

When he entered, Edon was facing away from him, standing up straight and tall, hands clasped neatly behind his back, a soldier reporting to his commander. Even still, he looked relaxed, clearly at ease and trusting of Zavala, secure in his position that led him to be reporting to him, though more than a bit tired being up at such an early hour, the sun only just beginning to appear over the horizon outside the wall of windows in Zavala’s office. All of that changed as soon as he glanced to Torak as he stepped in, uninvited and unannounced. His face faltered, almost smiling before he realized and his body became filled with tension. Torak took one look at Edon and the commander and quickly realized his mistake, worry filling his features as he tore his gaze away from Edon and stammered off a few quick apologies, ducking out of the room just as quickly as he’d entered it.

His pacing was quite at odds with tranquility of the babbling fountain outside, but it was better than standing still and letting his rush of anxiety consume him, and he was more than grateful when Edon exited without commander behind him, the door sliding shut behind him as he gave Torak a worried look.

“What are you doing here?” He asked him, already stepping into the path of his pacing and reaching out for him. Torak let him take his hands by pure instinct alone. “Are you alright?”

He managed to nod, the concern in Edon’s face knocking the breath from him even as he glanced anxiously towards the doors that led into Zavala’s office. What if the commander came out to see why he hadn’t come in to report yet?

“I’m fine.” He answered, quickly returning his gaze to Edon. “Tessa, Akshay and I just freed Sedia. She’s probably with Petra by now. I just came to report it to Zavala.”

“Oh.” Edon murmured, clearly not quite able to quickly dispel the sense of worry that had come over him. “That’s…that’s great news. And you three were able to manage it fine on your own?”

Torak nodded, but he didn’t hide his frown. The details of the encounter were still playing over and over again in his brain.

“It took us a while, but we were able to take her down and purify her.” He answered, then pursed his lips. “But Sedia…she seemed a lot more, I don’t know, damaged… than the other Techeuns. After we were able to cleanse her, she kept saying that we should have just ended it, that we should have killed her.” He shook his head to himself, pulling one of his hands from Edon’s to push back a few pieces of hair that had fallen from his braid and into his face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping this on you, you’re probably busy.”

“No, no, no.” Edon cut in quickly, almost frantically. “This is my day off, remember? You can tell me anything.”

Torak offered the other man an apologetic smile, his head still a little lowered even as he rose his eyes to meet Edon’s again. The other man’s free hand reached out to bush his face, his thumb ghosting over a leftover cut on his lip. Torak twisted his face to press a kiss into Edon’s gloved palm, butterflies filling his stomach the longer the contact remained.

Edon’s hand had settled down at the back of his neck, fingers brushing the base of his skull when Torak spoke again, only daring to do so after heaving a painfully deep breath.

“She’s afraid of being taken again. She thinks Savathûn will find her again. She said she told things to her, gave up secrets.” He closed his eyes, his head dropping as he took another deep breath. “She thinks we’re going to lose.”

Edon guided his head back up, waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, he found the other man staring into his with intent, a strong, sturdy warrior.

“We’re not losing. Not after everything we’ve already gone through.” Edon told him, and his eyes flicked away, shame pooling in his gut for believing the woman, for doubting the Light and their forces. Still, the enemy forces were overwhelming. Savathûn was nothing short of terrifying and Torak didn’t have the slightest idea of everything she was capable of. How could they take on a threat like that?

“Torak.” Edon cut into his thoughts, his other hand coming up to hold his head. He couldn’t remember when he’d let go of his hand. Still, he raised his gaze, trying to push the hopelessness from his eyes. How ironic was it that days ago he’d been the one reassuring Edon, drawing him out of these same fears? Where was the bravery he’d felt in those moments? The strength? He felt he had none. His body was tired. Hours of fighting had sapped his strength the way freezing water did after an unfortunate plunge. Still, Edon pressed on.

“You saved Sedia. Reuniting her with the other Techeuns will bring a lot of power back onto our side.” Edon reminded him, his voice firm and steady. “And Mara is alive. She was critical to our victory during the Taken war, having her back will be a great asset as well.”

Torak drew in a deep breath, letting it settle into him and calm his nerves. He nodded slowly, letting it out in a small sigh.

“We’re gonna get through this.” Edon told him when he met his eyes again. Torak nearly melted into him when he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “I promise.”

Torak nodded again once they’d pulled away. “You’re right.” He agreed, “I believe you.”

Edon gave him a little smile. “It sounds like you’ve been through a lot this past week.” He guessed, and Torak smiled a little at the words.

“You have no idea.” He agreed, and Edon smiled back.

“Listen,” He began, his eyes cutting to the side almost tentatively. “I’m probably going go home and crash, but if you wanted to come over you could. It’s…just not the same talking on coms.”

Torak nodded in agreement, though his stomach flipped a little with nerves at the suggestion.

“Sure.” He answered, “I’ll try to come by after I report to Zavala.” He promised, and Edon smiled, releasing him as he stepped back.

“Okay, see you then.” Edon told him, and he looked like he was going to lean in to kiss him once more, only to dare a glance at Zavala’s door and think better of it. His face was flushed with something that looked more like anger than embarrassment when he hurried up the staircase and out of sight.

Zavala thankfully didn’t mention Torak’s little interruption when he entered the room once more to report, nor did he even acknowledge it as an event that had occurred for the entirety of Torak’s time in the room. He took Torak’s report with little more than a nod and a serious but still pleased ‘well done,’ and dismissed him without asking him for any follow up, only promising him that he’d be in contact with their team and Petra.

That was perfectly fine with Torak, especially since his mind was at least somewhat occupied by Edon for the entirety of the short meeting. He couldn’t get Edon’s last little action off his mind. He’d known Edon wasn’t out to the Stoneborn order—which of course included Zavala—and he understood he wasn’t exactly happy with the fact, but his reaction was still troubling. Where did the safety exist within his mind? How had he been able to kiss him standing just outside the office, yet the instant he looked at the door, the very thought of Zavala seemed to douse his affections like a bucket of ice water. 

The thoughts were troubling, certainly, but Torak hardly even knew what they had. He wasn’t sure it was his place to really be questioning Edon’s decisions or reactions even if he wanted to. Still, it was becoming more and more obvious that there was something below the surface of Edon’s fear of being outed, something the other man didn’t quite want to accept. But it wasn’t his place to pry.

After leaving Zavala’s office, he found his way to Edon’s door awake with anxiety. His body was still exhausted, aches and pains welling up from the long battle before, but his mind was running and nothing he did seemed to slow it down. The fears were the same as they’d been the first time he’d come to Edon’s apartment. They were both exhausted, Edon from his week on the front and Torak from rescuing Sedia. It wasn’t like they were in any condition to do anything, or even to want to do anything. He needed to shower and he needed to sleep, and Edon likely did too. If this was to be a repeat of what they’d done after fighting Riven—though with a somewhat shifted timeframe as the sun was already coming up—he was fine with that, more than fine, really. But was it?

He hadn’t nearly reached a conclusion by the time he knocked on Edon’s door.

“Hey.” Edon greeted him when he opened the door, stepping back to allow him inside.

“Hey.” Torak returned, accepting the invitation and stepping inside. “Are you alright? When you left you looked a little…off.”

“Oh, that…” Edon shook his head, his gaze leaving Torak’s as he moved to close the door behind him, “That was nothing, really.”

Torak might’ve been young, but from the way Edon kept his back to him for a good couple of seconds before he turned, he knew not to press, and instead, he hummed in understanding, glancing away from Edon as he turned back.

“Listen, I don’t know what you had in mind but I’m exhausted.” He told the other titan, who nodded in return.

“I know.” He answered, “I am too, I just wanted to see you. You can leave whenever you’d like.” When Torak didn’t respond he stepped a little closer, until their bodies were nearly flush with one another and one of Edon’s hands found the back of his head, the other settling down on his chestplate. “Or you can stay.”

Torak wasn’t sure why but the hand on his chest filled him with unease. His heart began to pound, anxiety flooding his whole body with such an intensity he couldn’t even think straight. His mind seemed to trip over itself as his sole goal became moving Edon’s hand, one of his own coming up almost instantly to take it and move it down to his waist. He couldn’t even begin to fathom why one position was more comfortable than the other, but the warning bells in his head seemed to quiet once he’d adjusted the man’s position.

“Okay.” He answered, entirely too late and entirely too noncommittal. The warning bells came back alive, but now they were directed at him, anxious of his own misstep.

But Edon had already marked the gesture, was already withdrawing his hands and moving back.

“Wait!” Torak protested, practically pleading as he caught Edon’s hands as they withdrew. “I’m sorry,” he shook his head, squeezing Edon’s hands tight. “I was just anxious; I didn’t mean to freak out. It’s been a long week.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Edon responded, and Torak wondered if his expression was a mask of concern because he was hiding hurt.

“You didn’t- I mean it was just-“ He forced himself to stop speaking, forced himself to take a deep breath. “I don’t know why that made me uncomfortable but it doesn’t sum up the whole interaction. I’d love to stay. I’m sorry.”

Edon shook his head, a frustrated looking smile coming onto his face as he did so. “If you want to stay then I want you to stay. But you should never apologize if _I_ made you uncomfortable. That’s not how I want this to go.”

“I…” Torak drew in another breath, “Okay. Me too.” He let out the breath in a little sigh, still holding onto Edon’s hands as he stepped forward. He waited a few long moments, unable to look Edon in the eyes, the other man’s gaze averted similarly. “Can I kiss you?” He asked when he’d finally raised his head, his voice quiet. He could hardly keep his eyes on Edon as he voiced the words.

Edon opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again, blinking and clearly trying to formulate his thoughts before giving Torak a little nod as he watched him.

Torak’s heart was still pounding, but he moved slow, releasing Edon’s hands to reach up and hold his face in his hands, his fingers curling around to the back of his neck. From so close, he realized he hadn’t even noticed the new stubble on Edon’s face, covering his cheeks and upper lip and jaw. _How_ he hadn’t noticed before, he had no idea, but he certainly noticed it now, the scratch against his face as he leaned in to kiss the other man was enough to send a wonderful chill down his spine.

Their lips pressed together slowly, carefully, Edon resisting just a bit while Torak took the lead. Eventually he melted into him, surrendering himself wholly to Torak’s lips while his hands came up to rest on his waist again in a gentle but firm grip that made Torak feel safe and secure as Edon gave himself to the kiss. When they finally came apart, they didn’t go far, eyes closed as their foreheads rested against one another’s.

“Are you growing a beard?” Torak asked quietly, flicking a thumb lightly over the other man’s cheekbone. Edon laughed, and it warmed Torak’s bones as it seemed to clear the air of what the kiss had been unable to banish.

“No,” He answered, “Just can’t find time to shave on the front is all.” He explained, and Torak hummed in understanding. “Why, do you hate it?” He asked, his tone teasing, and Torak laughed a little too.

“No, I could never hate it.” He promised, dropping his head to press a kiss to Edon’s jaw, causing the other man to freeze in his grip.

“Was that bad?” He worried aloud, quickly pulling back.

Edon shook his head. “No. In fact I think I liked that a little too much.” Edon answered, relaxing his body again. “I might need a warning next time.”

“Oh.” Torak breathed, relief flooding in as he moved closer again. He nuzzled Edon’s jaw with his nose in warning before placing another kiss a little closer to his throat, and a shudder wracked through the man from head to foot.

When he drew back Edon raised his chin with a quick hand, kissing him on the lips once more as if to keep him from repeating the action. When he pulled away Edon spoke quickly.

“I’m afraid we both stink, and that won’t do. Do you want to shower first?” He asked, and Torak blinked.

“Sure.” He answered, trying not to be so taken aback by how quickly the man’s mood had shifted.

Then Edon was releasing him and stepping back, and he motioned to the bathroom and Torak went, trying not to eye him too suspiciously as he did.

* * *

Edon waited until the bathroom door had clicked shut behind Torak to slump over the kitchen counter with perhaps the most dramatic sigh he’d ever heaved in the entirety of his reborn lives. He was able to set his head on his joined hands for perhaps three calming seconds before a familiar voice spoke to him in a not-so-familiar teasing tone.

“What in Traveler’s name is wrong with you?” His Ghost questioned, floating over to peer at him as he jerked up his face to shoot the machine with a glare.

“Why in Traveler’s name were you _watching me?”_ He shot back sharply, and the Ghost rolled its eye.  
  


“You’re my Guardian, I always watch you.” Severin supplied. “Edri was watching as well. I bet she’s in there talking to Torak right now.” He said, nodding his shell to the bathroom door.

Edon’s groan was loud and angry, and he dropped his head back to his hands again.

“Edon.” His Ghost cut in, his tone back to its usual seriousness. “Tell me, what’s the problem?”

“It’s him, Sev!” He explained, jabbing a finger to point at the bathroom door. “I _like_ him, that’s the problem!”

The Ghost raised the top piece of its shell like an eyebrow, and Edon groaned again.

“I know that there’s a fine line between making Torak happy and making Torak uncomfortable.” He explained to his Ghost, finally remembering to keep his voice down so the other Guardian wouldn’t hear him. “I know the line exists and I know I crossed it, but I don’t have a clue where the line is, and I don’t know how to find that line without crossing it again, and I really, _really_ don’t want to do that.”

“Alright, so don’t touch him.” Severin told him, as if it was perfectly clear. It was. Edon shot him a withering glare.

“That doesn’t help me.” He hissed, and the Ghost rolled his eye again. “Besides, I think it’s pretty clear that he likes it when I—” he broke off, shaking his head as his face heated. “Traveler above, Sev, I can’t—”

“Just _ask_ him, Edon.” Severin cut in, floating to move in front of him as he turned to lean back on the counter. “You’re making this whole thing way too complicated. Just ask him to tell you what he’s comfortable with you doing and don’t take it as a personal affront if he tells you he doesn’t like something.”

Edon bent his head forward into his hands, but Severin was right. He needed to calm down, needed to face everything with a clear head before he continued anything. It was why he’d separated them so quickly, because Torak had a way of figuring out all of his favorite things and if he’d kept kissing him like that Edon wasn’t sure what he would have done, but it more than definitely would have crossed that line and he could not have that. Not to mention he already felt awful. He’d made an advance without thinking about it and Torak’s reaction to it had been immense. He’d practically been able to see the thoughts leave his head, just fear and anxiety flooding in the same way it did when he learned about an impending attack on the front, when he knew he wouldn’t quite reach his troops in time to protect them from a particularly heavy hit but he was still hauling ass to try to help.

“Okay.” He breathed finally. “You’re right.” He managed.

But with calmness came the return to reality that always seemed to strike him when he and Torak broke apart. He couldn’t help but think of Torak’s fears earlier, about Sedia. He’d said the woman had asked him to kill her. He couldn’t help but think of Riven, of Damian crushing his gun in his hands when she’d said the same thing. How badly had it been for Sedia if she’d rather die than even risk the very possibility of being taken again? Would she try to take her own life? Perhaps he’d been wrong to try to dismiss Torak’s fears earlier. He’d wanted to reassure him, but if they were facing the threats that Torak feared, perhaps he should have listened a little closer, let the man go on a little longer. He glanced to the bathroom door, hearing the shower running distantly. He longed to ask Torak about it now, but he’d wait. He probably didn’t want to go into it again, anyways.

Instead, he made his way to his bedroom and drew down the thick shade, encasing the room in darkness. Given the tendency for odd hours, guardian rooms were all outfitted with shades as effective as blackout curtains. Once he’d drawn it down over the window, it was impossible to tell what time of day or night it actually was, and Edon had never been more thankful for it. His exhaustion came back to him as soon as the dark filled the room, and he let it further calm him and ground him as he set to shedding his armor.

One week on the front was much better than the usual two, but he was still exhausted. Being posted on the front was a lot of late nights and early mornings, not to mention he hardly slept through the night most nights due to the skirmishes and fallen hits. He’d heard Zavala express the sentiment more than once, he wished he was half as good a teacher as a Titan, so that he could relax and let others take care of things. The same sentiment applied when it came to leading his squadron. It was why Amaya was so important to him, because when he’d drag himself out of bed after a sleepless night at the first chirp of his data tablet, she’d be the one snatching it up before he could grab it, and giving him the evil eye until he actually got some decent rest.

But Amaya couldn’t keep him from everything, even if she wanted to, so he was stuck with his exhaustion as he unclasped his armor and loosened the zippers on his undersuit with a little labored sigh.

* * *

Edon gave him a quick kiss on the lips when Torak exited the bathroom, but he didn’t say anything before he ducked into the room and shut the door behind him with a click.

Torak didn’t mind it. Edon likely had a lot on his mind, if the somberness of his face was any indication. Being away from him had given him time to think. To puzzle over what had caused Edon to react the way he had after he’d kissed his jaw, but also to think about everything he’d disregarded while they’d been kissing. He knew he was the more inexperienced member of their relationship, but it didn’t mean that Edon couldn’t get uncomfortable, even with things he liked. Torak could understand the idea of enjoying a touch or display of affection while at the same time feeling like they were moving entirely too fast. Boundaries weren’t just a thing that Edon had to respect for his benefit, it had to work the other way as well. Which meant they had to have a conversation that was already filling Torak’s stomach with dread.

He needed answers, but he didn’t have any of his own. He longed for Edon’s affections yet at the same time the idea of receiving too much terrified him, because he had no idea how he would react. He knew it should have been an easy fix to tell Edon what he was comfortable with and what he wasn’t, but he didn’t know what that was. Trial and error could figure it out, but the panic that had flooded his system wasn’t something he wanted to repeat, and he the guilt he’d seen Edon take on after the fact was something he never wanted to see again. All of the facts compiled together until he just wanted to return to what he knew, and they weighed down on his exhausted mind and body like a heavy weight across his shoulders.

He was inspecting a wound on his arm when Edon exited the bathroom a bit later. A long, jagged burn that snaked along his forearm, left behind when darkness meant to harm had met light meant to heal and the two had collided in a sharp battle of energy that had their combination burning a jagged line down his arm before his light had won and banished the darkness from his skin. Edon’s eyes settled on it as soon as he stepped out, concern and question lighting them. Torak only shook his head at it, smoothing his other hand across the wound to show it didn’t hurt him…much.

Edon accepted his lack of reaction well enough, turning his mind to other things as he bit his lip and slid his gaze away.

“Can we…talk?” He asked, and Torak’s stomached flipped. Even if he’d known they needed to have a conversation, he knew asking to talk about something was rarely a good sign in a relationship. “I just want to figure this out.”

“Sure.” He answered, pushing aside his worries as his eyes followed Edon. He was seated at the end of Edon’s bed, somewhat in the middle of the space. Edon moved to the desk across from him and seated himself lightly on the edge.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable earlier.” He began, and Torak nodded, knowing this well already. “And I didn’t mean to freak out after you kissed me.” He continued, the knuckles of his right and rubbing against his now clean-shaven jaw. “I just started thinking, I want you to enjoy yourself and I want to do things that you enjoy, but I don’t know when and where you want me to stop, and I don’t know how to gauge that because I know it’s something that will change from situation to situation.”

Torak nodded again, his eyes cutting down from Edon’s face to look at his own hands, curled in his lap.

“I don’t either.” He confessed. “And I didn’t mean to overstep when I kissed you. I thought since you said you liked it you wanted me to keep going.”

Edon bit his lip again. “I did, but I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.” He let out a quiet sigh. “Maybe we could come up with some kind of signal? Something to tell the other person when to stop doing something, or to undo whatever they just did.” He suggested. “It would need to be something we didn’t necessarily have to see. What about three taps for stop doing that? And two to ask if something is okay?”

“Sure.” Torak agreed, reaching out a hand as Edon began speaking quickly. Edon gave him his without question, and Torak tapped his thumb on Edon’s hand twice.

Edon flushed bright red, but nodded, then smiled a little at himself, embarrassment clear on his features.

“I’m sorry.” He said, his voice softening as he looked down at the floor. “I just really want this to go well.”

Torak smiled, drawing Edon towards him by the grip he held on his hand, scooting aside to make room for him on the bed.

“I do, too.” He promised. “And I like the signal idea, but I think nerves and exhaustion is probably making us both worry a lot more than we might normally.” He told the other man. Edon nodded once he’d sat down heavily beside him. “Let’s just get some rest.”

Torak wasn’t sure what came over him to be comfortable with such a dynamic shift between them, but he was more than grateful for it as he led Edon into the bed and they tucked themselves close together under the blankets and his arms fell naturally around Edon in a way that made him the very shield Edon had helped him become. He wasn’t sure why it felt so right to feel Edon’s body rising and falling against his, but he knew he’d protect it for as long as he was able, and if the Traveler had brought him back for this, it was the greatest blessing it had ever given anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked it! I've got big plans for these boys!! *cough* whump *cough* So I'll hopefully be getting another chapter out soon ish? One of them is going to be festival of the lost themed (either the 4th or 5th chapter, not entirely sure) so I'd love to release around that time but also the end of October is kind of far away and I'd rather get the chapter out sooner but you all know me so it might not happen. But anyways, see you all next time!!
> 
> Oh and for anyone curious about my made up Stoneborn order lore/funtionings stuff, they don't have days off really worked into their schedule because being a Guardian is very chaotic and they already know people are going to need to take random amounts of leave all over the place, so their days off are days when they're strictly not allowed to be working, and then the members of the order are given a certain amount of leave (a lot of it because it accounts for all the time they ever want to not be working) per year or whatever, and they can save the leave or use it or do whatever they want with it, so long as they make arrangements in advance before they take the day off. The (US) military actually does a similar thing with the leave they give, so you can save it throughout your years so a lot of people will save a bit of it and then take like 3 months off right before they retire and get paid for not working. Fun stuff.


	4. And I'm Not Busy Anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are high. Torak and Edon do their best to take care of one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Sorry this is so much later than I said it would be. I'm not sure if it makes up for it, but buckle up because it's a long one! It might take you a while to get through this chapter, it certainly took me a while. Anyways, enjoy!   
> PS. I know I promised whump but it's hurt/comfort. Sorry.

Edon wasn’t sure exactly what to do at first when Torak appeared in his living room. Once moment he’d been alone, anxiously awaiting any news Torak might send his way, and the next, the man himself was standing in the open space between the coffee table and the wallscreen, his skin so pale it reminded Edon of paper.

“Torak.” He breathed; the name automatic on his lips. Torak’s gaze shifted to his, and it was like his mind was lagging behind, confusion present in his eyes for a good moment before recognition began to seep in. “Are you alright?”

Torak looked away from him, looked down at his hands, still in thin leather gloves, each knuckle reinforced by little plates. The rest of his armor was still on as well, but there was old blood on his mark, and dirt rubbed into the fabric. Only his helmet was out of place, and his face looked  _ so pale  _ above his armor. Unease pooled in Edon’s gut.

“Yeah.” Torak answered him after far too long, almost looking as though he’d forgotten the question. “Yeah, I think I just need to…” He trailed off, looking around himself once more, as if Edon’s apartment was an unfamiliar place to him, despite the time he’d spent in it over the weeks they’d been together. “I just need to sit down.”

His eyes found the wall and he moved towards it with lurching steps, only to make it halfway before his knees crumpled, and Edon was already rushing towards him as he sank to the floor, catching himself on his hands and knees, reaching the wall at a crawl just as Edon reached him.

“Torak? Torak, hey, what’s going on?” Edon asked, as gently as he could, accepting the other man’s hand without a thought as he turned himself so that he could sit back against the wall. “Talk to me.”

As soon as their hands touched, Edon realized Torak was trembling, shaking almost violently, and his confusion had shifted to an anxiety that seemed to consume his entire being, his breathing no longer even.

"Are you okay?” He asked when Torak didn’t respond, only rose his eyes wide to Edon’s own. “Are you hurt?” His free hand went to Torak’s shoulder, closer to his neck to avoid his pauldron, but still far enough away to grip thick fabric and protective armor.

As if recognizing Edon’s concern, Torak shook his head. “I- no, I- I’m okay.” He stammered out, his eyes dropping before he choked in a shaky breath.

Edon had to bite down on nervous words as Torak opened his mouth to speak again. He shut it and opened it twice more before actually voicing words.

"It’s just…when we were fighting…” Tears bloomed at the edges of his eyes, he sniffled, wiping at them with his gloved hand. “The hive they…” He shook his head. “I just kept thinking about when they attacked us, when they pushed us into that cave.”

The tears spilled over, and he choked back a sharp breath as he dropped his head into his hands, his breathing progressing to rapid as he tried to regain his composure.

“I’m sorry, I need to go.” He managed, starting to push himself to his feet.

“No, no, no.” Edon scrambled to get up to his knees, grabbing frantically at Torak’s arm and trying to pull him back down. “You don’t have to go. We can talk about it.”

Torak resisted his efforts, but he stayed still, his breathing shaking as he stared straight towards the door that would lead out of the apartment, his face set as he fought off more tears. Finally, he looked down to where Edon still knelt, and Edon climbed to his feet when Torak didn’t look away.

“Please stay. Let me help you.” He let go of Torak’s hands, instead opening his arms in a silent offering.

Torak regarded him with hesitation, his eyes drifting over Edon and his lifted arms with consideration, though they were still heavily clouded by pain. Finally, he turned, taking the step that would close the distance between them, and he tucked his body against Edon’s, pressing his face into Edon’s unarmored shoulder.

Edon felt him shake against him, silent tears swiftly advancing to sobs he choked down to stay within his chest, but Edon held him tight. Still, he didn’t speak, only clung to Edon like a lifeline. Edon wasn’t even sure if Torak had ever been hugged in his life.

It felt like they stayed together for an eternity, but Edon was still startled when Torak slipped out of his grip, his hold having relaxed with Torak’s calming breathing. Edon didn’t miss the way he kept his eyes down, his face now red where it had been pale before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Edon asked him after a little pause, reaching out to hold Torak’s hand in a gentle grip.

Torak shook his head without looking at him.

"Can I spend the night?” He asked instead, his gaze still down.

The question threw Edon off guard, but he quickly stammered out an answer.

“Yeah, of course. Always.” He promised. Something in Torak seemed to relax at the words.

“Thanks.” He said quietly, and Edon stayed still as Torak leaned in and dropped a quick kiss to his temple before letting go of his hands and stepping back. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

Edon could only give a little nod in understanding while he watched him go.

The door had only just shut behind him before Edri appeared in front of it. At Edon’s gaze, she gave a little shrug of her frame.

“He wants to be alone.” She said simply.

“What happened to you guys out there?” Edon could only ask her, his voice hushed with anxiety.

Severin appeared beside him as he spoke, and the Ghosts followed him over to the table where he’d been before Torak had come, settling close by as he seated himself back down. He’d been reading reports from the other squadrons on the front. He couldn’t even imagine focusing on them now.

“We were in the ascendant realm all day.” Edri answered, settling over the table just across from him. “That had him on edge, but then we fought this witch, Dûl Incaru, and her three Darkblade Knights. The Knights were what got to him, I think.” Edri told him, “Akshay and Tessa were able to dodge them well enough so they ended up ganging up on him. They were strong, too.” Her shell furrowed a little around her, and she shook her frame as if to dispel the memories she’d summoned. Edon had fought Darkblade Knights before, enough to know what she didn’t want to explain.

Darkblade Knights were massive, likely more than twice the size of regular knights, and they carried massive axe-like weapons which they’d slam into the ground or into whatever unfortunate Guardian found themselves too close to them. Oftentimes, if the impact of the blow itself didn’t kill, the impact of whatever surface a guardian would crash into after being hit would. Edon seemed to remember smashing his skull on a few too many walls. Still, he’d never faced three of them at once. If he’d been through what Torak had, he had no doubt he’d be shaken up, too.

Edon had never been so quickly thrown into combat the way Torak had. Sure, he’d joined their team willingly, but Torak was young. Far too young to have to be facing the kinds of enemies he was dealing with now. Edon had been eased into difficult combat, gradually allowing himself to venture to areas with stronger enemies. He’d gotten over his head a few times, but nothing he couldn’t fix with a call for help or a tactical retreat. Even the new lights that had been arriving at the Tower since the Red War had been eased into combat, taking training and advice from just about every source that would provide it to them. Torak had probably been going through the same training before they’d brought him onto the team and had essentially made him abandon it.

What all of that amounted to was to introduce Torak to a surplus of horrors in a frightfully little amount of time, to make him a key player in a war in which all of humanity was on the line, all before he was experienced enough to even know the history behind it all. In the few nights Torak had stayed over at his apartment, he’d woken in the middle of the night from nightmares in all of them. Once, he’d been so startled by Edon’s hand reaching for him in the darkness that he’d jerked away quick enough to punch himself in the face and give himself a bloody nose.

The only time Edon himself had been so deeply affected by his combat experiences in a similar way had been shortly after he’d joined the Stoneborn, after he’d been on patrol with another titan and they’d been ambushed by Fallen. The other titan had died. Edon still wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened, he only knew that the many months after had been the worst of his life. Edon could hardly remember anything that had happened in the world in the months following the attack. Even his Ghost’s prompting didn’t spark any memories in his brain. He’d always known stress could lead to memory loss, but to have it happen to himself was something he never could have imagined.

If Torak was going through something similar…Edon didn’t even want to think about it. He was understanding more and more now that Torak was needed on the front. Pulling him back to safer territory wasn’t an option, whether or not Torak wanted to go. Which meant they had to figure out a way for him to manage what he was going through, to cope with it all until he was at least somewhat comfortable with what he was going through on a daily basis. And, if Torak’s unwillingness to speak about what he was going through was any indication, it wouldn’t be an easy task. 

But Torak had been there for him, had coaxed him out of worried thoughts and offered him solace from his fears. Torak had made a commitment to him, that he would be there for him no matter what, and Edon had said the same for him. It didn’t matter to him how hard the challenge would be, how difficult it might be to get Torak to open up to him, he had to try, because he’d promised, but also because he wanted to. 

He raised his eyes to the two Ghosts still hovering over the table across from him.

“He’s going to need help.” He told them quietly. The pair nodded.

“So will you.” Severin told him, and Edon looked down at that. It was true he’d likely need help getting through to Torak, it was a feat he wasn’t capable of on his own, but it was true he had stressors as well. If anything, he was learning that this war was affecting more aspects of his life than he’d imagined, from his friends and his team, to the crippled Vanguard, to his troops, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt everything in his life was actually remotely safe. Had he ever? He wasn’t sure.

“We’ll be here, Edon.” Edri cut into his thoughts. “We’re all a team now, not just you and Torak.” She told him, and he smiled.

“Thanks, Edri.” He told her, and the Ghost gave him a little nod. With this war, if they were going to get through it in one piece, they’d need all the help they could get.

  
  


Torak didn’t speak after he came out of the shower. Edon was only just changing out of the clothes he’d thrown on after work, sliding into pajamas when Torak emerged from the bathroom. He greeted him softly, to which Torak only nodded in response, moving straight for the bed without a word. When Edon joined him, Torak was quick to tuck himself against him, to press his face into Edon’s chest and breathe deep, allowing Edon to run soothing hands along his spine and through his hair. They drifted off in each other’s arms, their grip unfaltering even in sleep.

* * *

  
  


Edon was surprised he hadn’t worn a grove into the cement below him with all his pacing. Guilt had made a home within his mind by the time he rose for work the next morning. Torak didn’t even stir when he’d detangled himself from the other man after Severin had woken him, nor did he while Edon got ready for the day, even when he was a bit louder than he meant to. He left Edri with a message for Torak, to tell him he could stay for as long as he wanted, and to tell him he was always welcome in Edon’s apartment, even though he was pretty sure Torak already knew. 

His mind was clouded when he arrived at work the next morning, consumed by the thoughts of what could have been. He could never allow himself to neglect his troops, but could his attention have been better managed? Had he been so consumed by his worries for them that he hadn’t noticed Torak slipping before his eyes? Could he have paid more attention to him? Prevented something by devoting more time to him, by taking less time for himself?

Or would Torak be better off without him? It wasn’t that he felt like a burden--though sometimes he certainly was--but Torak could never be his top priority, not with his troops to worry about. But what if that was what Torak needed? Maybe not forever, but at least right now, what if he needed someone to give him all their help and attention, and Edon was simply holding him back from finding someone who could be that person for him? 

The thought drove a stake into his heart, because there was truth in it, and that truth brought pain. Was he being foolish? Had he made too many commitments? Was his work and his commitment to his troops to get in the way of his relationship with Torak? In a way it already was, with the way he was hiding their relationship from the Order. 

Unfortunately, Torak wasn’t the only thing he was guilty about. Today was an anniversary of sorts, a yearly ritual he’d made for himself, one which occurred on the last night of the Festival of the Lost, when celebrations and festivities were at their height and the city stayed up the whole night, dancing and eating and remembering those lost. Edon wouldn’t be celebrating. 

The culmination of all of it left him anxious and out of sorts. He and Amaya were on the eastern section of the wall, just above one of the little command centers built into the center of each section of the wall. Normally, he’d be inside it, in an office not unlike Zavala’s at the Tower, only its windows would be looking towards the wilds beyond the city, and where Zavala’s office suggested intelligence and sophistication, this one showed only a commander managing his troops. He’d be sat behind a massive desk managing this logistical thing or that, and Amaya would be switching between helping him and moving along the wall to check on the members of the squadron patrolling the space.

He'd at least started out his morning that way, the normal way he was supposed to when he was stationed on the wall, but this wasn’t a normal day. His rotation on the front had ended a week ago, he’d been back in the Tower and back on the Wall for a week managing the daytime shifts with the 36 th Squadron. In a day they’d switch to the nighttime shifts, then after a week of that they’d be back out on the front again. He wouldn’t say the week back in the Tower hadn’t been good for him—it had, surely it had. He’d gotten to spend some more time with Torak, at least when he hadn’t been off in the Dreaming City with Tessa—the pair had almost seemed like they were becoming nocturnal with their schedules, but it wasn’t like the differences in times throughout a solar system was easy to manage—and he was able to sleep for at least semi-regular hours, able to meet with his clan after work, able to eat decent food. But while the connection was nice, he’d never imagined he could be more stressed on the Wall and in the Tower than out on the front.

To make matters worse, it was entirely Torak’s fault. Since Edon wasn’t so busy, he’d been trying to keep more up to date on the other Titan’s whereabouts. Just trying to figure out when he was going to the Dreaming City and when he was coming back to the Tower. Traveler, it looked and felt more possessive than he’d care to admit, but the whole prospect of the threats in the Dreaming City terrified him beyond belief, and after how Torak had acted yesterday, he could hardly stomach the idea of Torak going back at all. The threats were getting worse and Torak couldn’t hide it for the life of him. Tessa hadn’t even bothered to try.

Perhaps there had been warning signs he hadn’t recognized. Towards the beginning of the week, Torak had been returning from the Dreaming City just after Edon had gotten off of work. Naturally, Edon had invited him over, had made him dinner, had asked him about his day, complained about the Wall. They’d been in the same room for perhaps three minutes before Edon noticed Torak was speaking one word to maybe fifty of his own, and that his gaze hadn’t come off the kitchen counter below him for more than three seconds at a time. He’d rightfully assumed something was wrong. After that, it had taken nearly three hours of careful questioning for the other man to confess to him that he and Tessa had been attacked by Hive in the Dreaming City. Again. He’d been stressed ever since.

Torak had kept going into the Dreaming City, he always went with Tessa, but it hadn’t made the whole thing any easier for Edon to accept. Somehow the Hive attack had been small, Torak and Tessa had run before they’d been boxed in. They’d been smart and gotten away, but it didn’t make it any better. Damian, Estella and Praxedes seemed no closer to figuring out why the Hive were attacking, and given the attack had happened without him or Damian present, it seemed their pairs hypothesis was useless now. If they couldn’t figure out attacks, then they couldn’t stop them, and if they couldn’t stop them, then every moment Tessa and Torak spent in the Reef was a risk that was causing Edon more anxiety that he’d ever care to admit. The worries were all piling up on him, now, and he worried he might snap from the pressure of it all, so he paced. 

“Will you give it a rest?” Amaya cut into his thoughts. She was standing behind him, her hand on her hip, her helmet pressed against her side and her face pinched with frustration. Beside her, Sarid—the Squad leader of Echo—was watching the exchange with an uncharacteristically blank face. Edon took one look at the two and halted, trying not to blush as he turned back to face the wilds once more.

Whatever Sarid had come for, Amaya took care of quickly, the two speaking in tones soft enough that Edon couldn’t make them out over the wind. He didn’t mind, he trusted his Second, not to mention, his mind was far too scattered to properly handle anything the Squadron might have asked of him for the moment. Thankfully, Sarid was gone quickly, and Amaya was standing beside him not long later.

“You weren’t acting like this yesterday.” She told him; her arms crossed over her armored chest as she followed his gaze out to the wilds beyond. “What’s changed?”

Edon let out a sigh that felt like it came from within his soul, holding his own helmet in both hands in front of his body. “Torak came home from a mission in the Dreaming City last night.” He told her, his voice soft. “It was some sort of raid on a throne world. He nearly got killed by three Darkblade Knights.” He raked a hand through his hair. “He...he broke down. I think all of this stuff in the Dreaming City is more than he can handle and I just...I don’t know what to do about it.”

“There were people with him?” Amaya asked him. “On the raid?”

He nodded. “Tessa and Akshay. They’re both strong, but Torak...he’s still new. Inexperienced. I know they need him out there but…”

“You’re worried about him.” Amaya supplied.

“He seems like he’s in over his head. He’s getting in too deep and he doesn’t know how to handle it yet. It’s not about his combat skills, it’s about mentality, stress.” He explained, and Amaya nodded thoughtfully.

When she didn’t respond quickly, he shook his head. “Whatever.” He breathed, “it’s not a work problem. I can worry about it later. What did Sarid want?”

Amaya eyed him hesitantly, but eventually answered when he refused to look at her. “A couple of Borya’s militia got food poisoning last night. Sarid was just getting confirmation to send one of his guys over to her section.”

Edon hummed in understanding. Despite the many ways they could’ve completed the interaction through various channels of technology, he knew Sarid liked the walk, not to mention he and Amaya were close enough not to object to an opportunity to say hello.

Just another day on the wall, he supposed. Apart from the situation with Torak absolutely eating him up on the inside. Just days ago, Torak had been telling him about how much he was beginning to despise going into the ascendent realm. How long had he spent in it yesterday? Had it followed him into his sleep, into his nightmares? Was he still sleeping now? Or had he headed back out by now, back to the danger that was the Dreaming City. Perhaps he should’ve asked Edri to contact him when Torak woke up. Perhaps he should call him, just to check in, because he hadn’t been able to do so before he’d left for work that morning.

However, before he could fall too deep into that particular rabbit hole, the handheld data tablet in his pocket let out a sharp chirp, indicating an emergency notification. He quickly drew it out to look at it.

“Thank the Traveler.” Amaya breathed, moving to stand beside him. “Finally, something interesting.”

“Thank the Traveler?” Edon echoed, unlocking the tablet with his thumb, the device reading the print through his glove. “Someone could be dying.” He reminded his second, just as the tablet opened.

Amaya let out a little cough, sobering quickly. “Right.” She answered, though her attention was rapt on the screen he held before them, the emergency notification displayed in large print.

> _ //Urgent// City train #5634 autopilot disabled. Multiple unauthorized persons aboard. Proceed with caution. Tracking number #673495723314 _

“A hijacked train?” Amaya wondered aloud, “Why are  _ we _ getting this?”

“Drifter’s been stealing Crucible supplies from city trains.” Edon answered, tapping on the message to draw up the tracking information attached. “Sometimes he’s doing it himself, other times he gets his crew to do it for him. We’d better send a few titans down to take care of it. They can take the light sparrows.”

Amaya shook her head. “No can do, chief.” She announced, “We’re short staffed as it is. With the two of Borya’s troops gone, we’re already down a full squad’s worth. Echo’s filling the holes but we’ll be leaving openings if we take anyone else off the wall.”

Edon frowned. She was right. Given the situation in the Dreaming City and beyond, a few of their titans were already missing, tending to more important matters, some of them sent by Zavala to fortify Guardian outposts abroad. That, and there were others taking time off as usual. Normally, it wouldn’t have been an issue, they would’ve pulled from other squadrons, filled the gaps, but the situation was the same with all the squadrons, not to mention they were already overbooked trying to assist the crumbling Vanguard.

“Alright…” He trailed off, “We’ll go.” He decided. Amaya crossed her arms over her chest, shifting her weight onto one hip in the feminine way that told him he needed to rethink his current plan of action. He didn’t.

“Tell Sarid he’s in charge, I’ll let Tarakash know where we’re going and tell him to keep an eye on the troops.” He told her, already tugging on his helmet before typing away on his handheld.

“You’re sure the commander will be okay with this?” Amaya asked, though she drew out a little tablet of her own in reluctant acceptance.

“I command my own squadron.” He reminded her, “He sent the emergency situation to me, it’s up to me to respond to it how I see fit.” He explained. “Besides, I’d much rather put myself in the danger zone than anyone else.”

She let out a little sigh. “I know.”

* * *

  
  


Edon heard more than saw the situation unfolding before him. Despite the screen in front of him displaying a camera feed of the other train, the sounds from his coms stung a little deeper. He heard rather than saw the snap of a restraining band around Amaya’s Ghost, followed by her responding shout, a sharp explosion, and the sound of her body hitting the floor. The next thing he knew, a guardian was holding her Ghost in the view of the camera, one of Drifter’s guns of darkness shoved against its shell, Amaya’s body limp, bloody and lifeless beside it.

“Stand down or I’ll shoot!” The guardian barked through the feed, and Edon’s body filled with ice. 

He and Amaya had taken sparrows from the wall, meeting a civilian team at a checkpoint the train had blown through in order to avoid being searched by the City guards. There, they’d taken their own train to pursue Drifter, moving so quickly the whole experience had been a blur. Unfortunately, Drifter had been a step ahead already, with one train parked at Shaxx’s armory outside the wall and another at the end of the tracks. Edon had gone to the armory, leaving Amaya to pursue the train at the end of the line. Edon had found Drifter, and Amaya, three of his crew. Amaya had managed to lock two of them in a train car while Edon had been fighting Drifter, but the last one had snagged her Ghost while it had been healing her up. From the carnage he could see on the screen, it looked like they'd shot her with a shotgun.

Behind him, a gun pressed to the back of his neck, Drifter spoke in a snarl.

“You put that gun down right now, kid.” He snapped to the other guardian through his coms, and Edon almost turned to look at the man in shock. The gun shoved into his neck harder. 

“What, why?” The guardian demanded, his own gun not moving. 

“If you kill her,” Edon spoke steadily, firmly. “There is nowhere you can go that I won’t find you.”

“Listen to him.” Drifter snapped, though the gun didn’t move from against his neck. “You kill her, you’ll get a whole order of these jarheads hunting you, plus the Vanguard. This job ain’t worth that, so  _ put the gun down. _ ” 

Slowly, Edon watched the Guardian on the screen consider, before letting out a loud sigh and holstering the hand cannon he’d been holding. Edon felt a bit of relief flow into him, even as Drifter held a gun to his neck still. Edon could feel the darkness rolling off it. If Drifter did shoot him, he wasn’t sure his Ghost would be able to revive him if he died because of it, or heal him of whatever darkness it held in it. He needed to get away, and he had to act quickly, while Drifter’s attention was still divided.

“Atta boy.” Drifter said, though his voice was still a growl behind Edon. “Now, let’s settle this like civil…”

Edon didn’t listen to the rest of his words, too busy sending up a prayer to the Traveler. Through their mental link, he told Severin to be careful, then, he lit his body on fire.

Solar light erupted from him so harshly he could hardly control it. Drifter barked a curse and Edon flung himself to the ground, out of Drifter’s grip, though his gun didn’t go off before Edon was safely away and Drifter was barking out curses as he tried to pat out the flames on his robes. Edon pulled the fire back into himself as he leveled his own gun with Drifter’s head, now standing a good few paces away. 

“I’ve already called reinforcements.” He told Drifter as the fires subsided from his robes and he raised a sharp snarl to Edon’s face. “There will be a whole squadron here soon. Why don’t you cut your losses and leave now?”

The lies were steady off his lips, the same way he was calm in command when he led his troops into dangerous situations. He couldn’t afford to be otherwise, so he was calm. Even though Amaya had come so close to a final death. Even though he’d brought her down here and had nearly gotten her killed. Even though she still wasn’t out of harm's way, and that guardian could take out her Ghost at any time.

“Did you?” Drifter remarked, brows raising, though his face shifted to a bit of a smirk. “A _whole squadron?_ Just to come take down Ol’ Drifter?”

Edon tried not to let his face falter. He’d underestimated Drifter. Again. Anyone who knew anything about the Stoneborn would know they couldn’t scramble a squadron for anything on such short notice, especially not an operation as low profile as this.

Drifter chuckled darkly at him. “Thought so.” He remarked, his gun still held in one hand while he approached Edon. 

“I know ‘bout the Stoneborn.” Drifter told him. “Met some of your LT’s. None of ‘em are quite like you. They’re not so…” Drifter looked him up and down, then smirked a little broader. “Progressive.” He finished, giving Edon a wink that sent chills though his entire body. 

“But you and I got friends in common. And I’d rather not make an enemy of the Vanguard just yet.” He continued. “So I’m going to let you off easy. We’re going to take our stuff and go, and you’re going to let us. Deal?”

“And why would I let you do that?” Edon questioned. 

“‘Cause if you don’t, I’ll kill you and your friend.”

Edon squared his shoulders, his gun still up. He wished he’d been able to protect Amaya, but he couldn’t let Drifter get away with this, not when he’d been tasked with stopping it.

The rogue only let out an exhausted sigh, and before Edon could blink, there was a bullet in his side, the wound just below the protection of his chestplate. When he doubled over in pain, more pain exploded in his head, and the world went dark.

  
  
  
  


Edon woke up to his helmet full of radio static, his side and head searing with pain. Around him, the train was empty, racks of weapons bare and crates gone. Even the Redjacks were missing. Beside him, his Ghost sat, bound in a Praxic Order restraining band. Thank the Traveler Drifter hadn’t decided to take the Ghost with him, he could only hope Amaya’s Ghost would still be with her as well, with her body, given she was likely still dead. 

He pushed himself to sit up, letting out a pained groan as his side erupted in agony. Looking down, he saw the gunshot wound Drifter had given him was being managed well by his armor, the systems active and closed over the wound, putting pressure on it to slow the bleeding. It was likely the only reason why he hadn’t bled out yet, though there was a considerable pool of blood on the floor below him. 

Carefully, he reached over and picked up his Ghost, turning him over in his hands as he inspected the band wrapped around his shell. He didn’t want to force the band off, lest he risk damaging his Ghost in the process, but from the looks of it, the band had incapacitated him. If Edon had to retrieve Amaya’s Ghost and get back to the Tower on his own, without Severin healing him...well it would certainly be a challenge.

Unfortunately, it was starting to look like his only option. His helmet visor had begun flickering, the screen fuzzy, the systems unstable, a few damage errors displayed at the bottom of his vision. Additionally, whatever Drifter had done to it had knocked out his coms, which meant he’d be on his own until he could get back to the wall and get some help. 

Carefully, he tucked his Ghost into a pouch on his belt, then used the wall to heave himself to his feet. The blood loss was starting to affect him now, his head spinning and woozy as he stabilized himself against the wall, unable to see for a good few seconds. The monitor that had been displaying Amaya and the other train now only showed an error message, but he had to hope the train was still there, and he had to get to it.

He limped his way down to the control room at the front of the train, not even making it inside before he gave up, finding the controls had been shot up and utterly destroyed. If he couldn’t find another vehicle, he’d have to walk. 

At the rear of the train, a few sparrows had been stored inside the last cabin, all of them destroyed as well, likely by Drifter. So much for them having friends in common, right? Would he even tell Tessa about this? Should Edon? 

It was a problem for later, he decided, loading his weapons with the ammo he had on him, tucked in his pockets. He hoped he wouldn’t need it, but he couldn’t be sure. He only steeled his spine and climbed out of the train, starting down the tracks towards Amaya.

  
  
  


He found Amaya’s body laying on the floor of the second train, at the far end of the line, the walk had taken him over a half an hour, and he’d been moving as fast as he could bear. She was covered in blood, her helmet blown to pieces and her face so damaged Edon couldn’t even bear to look at it for too long. He only scanned the ground for her Ghost and picked it up, tucking it away with his own before he lifted Amaya’s body into a fireman’s carry and started back towards the wall. 

The guardians with Amaya had been just as thorough as Drifter, picking the train clean, taking out the controls and the sparrows in the back. On this train, there was hardly any evidence that there had been sparrows in the back in the first place, and outside of the train, even some of the wheels had been pried off or exploded. All of that meant he had to make it to the Wall on his own. He debated about moving away from the city entirely and meeting up with some of the Titans posted out on the front, but all the outposts were further away than the Wall was, even as far out as he already was. Not to mention the walk would be more treacherous, even behind their own lines.

So he walked, slowly and for what felt like hours, opting to stay above ground instead of reentering the tunnels he and Amaya had come in. Hopefully, someone would spot him from the Wall so he wouldn’t have to walk the whole way back on his own. He’d made it over halfway before they did, blood soaking through his armor now, swaying on his feet with every step after walking for over an hour at least.

It was Tarakash’s men that spotted him, two titans leaping down from the Wall before summoning sparrows to come and get him. By the time they’d made it to him, he’d collapsed to the ground, Amaya’s body in his lap. The Titans had brought him back to the Wall, had brought Amaya’s body to the morgue where it would stay until her Ghost could take care of it. He’d gone to Zavala’s office, where he now sat, bare from the waist up, a bandage wrapped securely around his torso to protect his side while the restraining bands were removed from his and Amaya’s Ghosts.

“I knew Drifter has been stealing from City trains, but it’s troubling to know he’s now gotten his hands on Praxic Order technology.” Zavala was saying, pacing back and forth in the raised section of the room, away from the window and behind Edon, his chair rotated enough that he could still see the Commander to his left.

He nodded in agreement. “I’m not sure how they were able to get to Amaya’s Ghost, but I think Drifter must’ve waited until Severin tried to heal me before he got him. We both knew they already had restraining tech because we were able to see it on Amaya’s Ghost, but Severin must’ve felt like there was no other option.”

To Edon’s right, at Zavala’s desk, two other Lieutenants were present; Tarakash, commander of the 36th squadron, whose troops were always on the Wall with Edon’s or out on the front at the same time, and Eurman, commander of the 83rd squadron. He and his troops rotated a week earlier than Edon and Tarakash. Soon he’d be heading out to the front, but currently his troops were handling the night watches of the Wall with the 92nd squadron while Edon and Tarakash handled the day.

“Commander,” Eurman spoke up quickly after Edon, “Didn’t you say that the Shadows had Praxic tech? That they’d stolen some a few weeks ago?”

Edon sat up at that, only for the motion to put pressure on his wound and have him slumping back into his chair with a grimace. From where he was seated on the edge of Zavala’s desk Tarakash held up a hand to remind him to stay down. 

“You don’t think they’re working together, do you?” Tarakash asked, voicing Edon’s words as he was too pained to speak them himself. 

“No.” Zavala answered. “Ikora has Hidden already examining those ties. Apparently Drifter despises the Shadows, but it would not surprise me if he adopted a few of their more...successful methods. Still, he's been working with us against the Shadows, and while I wouldn’t put it past him to double cross us, I don’t feel he would act in any way that does not directly benefit himself.”

“He never tried to ransom the Ghosts.” Tarakash pointed out.

“Drifter knows how we operate.” Edon managed, his voice gruff with pain. Three pairs of eyes slid back to him. “He knows we don’t negotiate with renegades, and what’s two guardians when dying is in the job description?”

He watched Eurman’s eyes give him a once over, as if measuring his worth before they returned to Zavala.

“I will speak to the Praxic order, and once the restraining belts are off both yours and Amaya’s Ghosts, we’ll try to trace them back to the source.” Zavala told him. “Take the rest of the day off. Your Second is already back on the Wall with the rest of your squadron, but the technicians say the band on your Ghost is a bit more complex. It may take some time to remove. Get some rest.”

Edon gave Zavala a nod, accepting Tarakash’s help as the other man took his hand and pulled him out of his chair, his second hand gripping Edon’s elbow to help him rise. He stood by while Edon slid into a shirt he’d brought with him, and made sure Edon was all set and fine to go to his apartment on his own before he watched him leave the room.

Only Edon didn’t go back to his apartment, at least not to stay. He slipped through the door and went straight into his weapons room, carefully buckling himself into a new set of armor, the process incredibly painful without the help of his Ghost to transmatt the armor onto him or numb the pain of his wound. 

As soon as he was dressed in the armor, he was out of the apartment, headed back towards the Wall, where he made it all the way to Amaya at the command center before anyone realized he was out of place.

“Edon?” His second questioned as soon as he’d arrived in the room. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you injured?”

He tried not to sink into the chair before the desk at which she stood too quickly, but it was hard not to. His wound was searing in pain, likely bleeding again from all his moving, and his head felt woozy again, the blood loss and head injury catching up to him once more. To add onto it all, he was more battered than he realized, with bruises on his ribs and legs, his wrist achy enough to be broken or at least sprained.

“I just...wanted to check on you.” He breathed, watching Amaya’s face pinch as she looked at him. 

On the desk before her, data tablets and papers were spread, all the work he hadn’t gotten to in his stress earlier that day. He hated to leave her with it all, but he didn’t want to disobey Zavala, either, even if he wouldn’t be going home to rest.

“Are you alright?” He asked her when she didn’t respond. “Drifter's guys nearly killed you. I didn’t know what to do.”

“I’m fine, Edon.” She answered. “We nearly die every day.” She reminded him, coming around the desk to crouch before him. “It’s you I’m worried about.”

He looked away from her soft gaze quickly. “I’m fine.” He told her quickly. “Will you be alright handling the troops on your own? I should be back tomorrow.”

“I can handle it. Don’t worry about me.” She promised, and he gave a little nod. 

“Then I guess I should be going. I’ll...see you later.” He pushed himself to his feet, Amaya standing and moving back, out of his way. She spoke up just as he reached the door.

“Edon, wait.” She said quickly, and he glanced back at her. “I know what today is. I know the festival is almost over. Why don’t you spend the night in the city? The rest of the squadron and I have planned a gathering in honor of the troops we lost in the Red War.” She told him. “We were hoping you might join us.”

Edon couldn’t bear to tell her no, but he knew he wouldn’t be going either way. He only gave her a little nod as he looked away, already pushing through the door.

“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do. I’ll try to make it. Promise.” 

But he already knew his promise would go unfulfilled, that Amaya would be disappointed in him. He couldn’t bring himself to dwell on it as he left the command center and headed for the mountains far beyond the wall.

* * *

  
  


Torak was burning an omelette in Edon’s kitchen when Amaya’s message reached his Ghost. Edri had given up offering him cooking advice nearly half an hour ago, and he’d been burning or otherwise ruining everything he’d been attempting to create for nearly an hour. Needless to say, he was happy to scrap his project when Edri appeared above the counter looking tense.

“Edon’s second has a message for you.” The Ghost told him, and he frowned, setting aside the skillet he’d been holding and checking for the fifth time that the smoke he was smelling came from the burnt omelette and not some new source he hadn’t seen.

“Amaya?” He asked, and Edri nodded. “Patch her through.”

Edri nodded, and a moment later Amaya’s voice sounded from the Ghost’s speakers. 

“Torak?” Amaya asked.

“I’m here.” Torak answered, “Is something wrong?”

There was a beat of silence.

“Sort of.” The woman answered, “Edon and I got into a little situation with the Drifter today. Zavala gave Edon the rest of the day off. But listen, I need a favor from you.”

Edon wanted to ask her to elaborate, but she spoke again before he could. 

“It’s about Edon.”

“You said you got into a situation with Drifter?” Torak backtracked quickly, “Is he alright?”

“That’s what the favor is about. Drifter put a Praxic Order restraining band on his Ghost and shot Edon in the side. They haven’t been able to get the band off yet.” Amaya explained to him. Torak shot his Ghost a worried look.

“Is Edon in the hospital?” He asked Amaya.

“No.” She answered. “He’s on a mountain in Twilight Gap.”

Torak wasn’t sure he was even following the conversation anymore.

“Amaya, what is going on?” He managed.

“Every year on the last day of the Festival of the Lost, Edon goes to this mountain to mourn for the troops we lost in the Red War.” She explained. “He stays out there all night by himself. It's not the healthiest thing for him to do anyways, but right now he’s injured and currently Ghostless, and with everything going on he’s likely going to feel worse about losing troops. I need you to go get him before he hurts himself. I’d do it myself but I still have to work, and I’d rather he not stay out there for any longer. Can you get him?”

Torak nodded, worry pooling in his gut. “Yeah of course. I’ll leave right away.” His eyes darted to the window as she spoke, gray clouds had been rolling into the City all day, Edri had already promised him a big storm was coming.

“Thanks, Torak.” Amaya said. “Listen, I’ll send you the coordinates, but be prepared to find something you might not want to see. He...he’s having a rough time.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll get him, I promise.” He told Amaya, already making for the door, his Ghost transmatting his armor onto him as he went. Amaya had hardly sent him the coordinates before he was speeding into the storm, towards the mountains in the distance.

  
  
  


Torak wasn’t sure quite what he expected to see when he drew up to the spot Amaya had directed him to, his Ghost indicating he’d arrived at the proper coordinates through the display in his helmet. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but it certainly wasn’t this.

Rain was pouring down around him, creating a dull roar as it drummed against his helmet and on the rocky landscape around him. It was harder than it had rained in months, the rocky slope below him now awash with mud, streams flooding down to lower ground. He feared he’d slip and fall on the slick surface as soon as he got off his sparrow, but he couldn’t exactly ride up the slope before him. He wasn’t even sure he’d be able to walk up it, either, with all the mud and water. He was at the edge of the mountains beyond the City, just barely entering into Twilight Gap. A switchback trail led the way up the slope ahead of him, and far above him, off the path and perched on a precarious overhang of rock, looming above a likely hundred or so foot drop, was Edon.

It somehow hadn’t yet snowed for the season, even at the mountainous landscape, which Torak was grateful for, even if the heavy rain was somehow chilling him even through his armor. He couldn’t fathom how. He’d already asked his Ghost to activate the heating systems in his armor to stave off the cold—and she had—but it had made little to no impact. It was like there was ice clinging to his bones.

The cold spurred him on, and he quickly hurried towards the trail that would take him up towards Edon’s position. The trail itself was a river of mud, but he stuck to it as best he could without walking through it. He’d learned well enough in his time traveling to the city that to leave a switchback trail could prove treacherous, especially in harsh weather. But Edon was up there, so he made his steps quick and careful.

By the time he made it up to the little overhang on which Edon was perched, he was doing his best not to shiver. His legs were splattered in mud up to his calves, with a bit of it caking his side from a few unfortunate slips while he’d been climbing the slope. He forgot all of it instantly. All he could look at, all he could think about was Edon, just… Edon.

The top half of his armor was gone, discarded behind him on the slope, just before his little cliff rose away from the mountainside, the plates heavy enough to avoid being swept away by the torrent of water. Torak didn’t miss the way his overturned helmet was overflowing with water. How long had he been out here? His hair was plastered to his head and the back of his neck, likely to his face and eyes too, not that Torak could see his front. From what he could see of his back, though, Edon was drenched to the bone. His undersuit was so wet it looked like he’d just swam in it, water streaming down and off him as the material could absorb no more.

More worrying to him than that though, the undersuit was damaged, holes and tears present in the fabric, untended by a Ghost’s care. Torak wondered if there had been blood, too, if it all was being rinsed away by the torrent of water. His stomach flipped. Amaya had warned him this would be bad, but…what was Edon doing out here?

He made his way out onto the cliff with cautious feet. The little outcropping was probably over ten feet long, bringing them away from the mountainside and out into the open air. The roar of the rain pounding against the mountain almost went away. Almost. He made sure to step in a puddle or two as he approached, just to make himself good and heard. He wasn’t sure Edon’s back could get any stiffer, but it did.

“Edon, what are you-“ He reached out to touch the other man when he was close enough, but Edon was already curling inwards, away from his reaching hand.

“Please, don’t.” The other man rasped, just louder than the rain pounding on Torak’s helmet. He froze. “Please.”

He let the smallest sigh as he withdrew, bringing his hands up to tug off his helmet, releasing it as it dissolved into his Ghost’s grasp. The rain was coming down so harshly he had to squint against it. A chill tore through him at its icy touch.

“What are you doing up here?” He tried again after a moment. Edon’s back was still to him. If only there were more space, if only he could get around to stand on his other side, but the outcropping was so narrow Torak feared the edges would crumble under his weight, not to mention Edon was kneeling at the very edge of the little platform.

Edon didn’t answer, only shook his head. His curls were so soaked they didn’t even bounce with the movement. Thankfully he spoke up before Torak could go mad with worry, though his words didn’t do much to alleviate his fears.

“This is a site of great loss.” He told Torak, his voice not much more than a cracked and broken croak. He named some squadron Torak had never heard of, some battle he couldn’t recall.

“I don’t think this is the best time to pay your respects.” Torak managed, his own throat felt like it was closing up. What was going on? Was this really what Amaya had meant when she said Edon went here to mourn for his troops?

“No.” Edon answered. “This is the best time. But I’m not…here for them.” His head dropped. Looking over his shoulders, Torak could see his hands were in tight fists atop his thighs, his knees bent, feet tucked beneath him. How long had he been sitting like that?

“Then why are you here?” His heart was pounding, his panic rising. He had to be sure. Why wouldn’t Edon look at him? Why wouldn’t he tell him what was going on?

Edon just shook his head again, then picked it up and looked ahead once more, towards the city shrouded in fog.

“What’s happening right now?” He asked Torak instead, “What’s going on?”

“It’s raining?” Torak answered. “Why won’t you just tell me-“

“No, not the rain.” Edon cut in, shaking his head a little firmer this time. “The festival. The Festival of the Lost.”

Right, of course. It was just as Amaya had said, that he came here on the last day of the festival, but why? Why mourn in this way, when the whole festival was dedicated to remembering the lost through celebrations? Did Edon not get it? Could he possibly explain it?

“Edon…” He trailed off. “It’s a festival, not a funeral. A celebration of life. It’s freezing out here, let’s just go home.”

“No.” Edon said, before he’d even finished speaking. “No. I can’t. This…this is how I remember them. I come here and I-“

“What, freeze to death?” Torak questioned. He was fighting to keep his tone under control.

Edon gave the smallest nod.

“I deserve this. I deserve to suffer too.”

“Why?” Torak breathed. His body felt frozen now, his chest too tight, his senses distant. “What could you  _ possibly  _ have done to deserve this?”

“I’m the reason they’re all dead.” Edon’s voice was choked with tears. “My troops, during the Red War. I ordered them to their deaths, I looked on while they fell and I didn’t. It should have been me, but it wasn’t. That’s why I deserve this. Why I’ll never  _ not  _ deserve it.”

He didn’t mention what Amaya had, about the situation that had occurred earlier that day, that had endangered both him and Amaya. Still, Torak couldn’t speak. His mind was roaring but words were beyond him. He’d known Edon took responsibility for his troops, he’d known he felt a great deal of pressure as their commander, but this? This was…he wasn’t even sure what to make of it.

“Edon, they wouldn’t have followed you orders if they didn’t believe in you. If they hadn’t-“

“If they hadn’t trusted me.” Edon finished for him. “They trusted me and I killed them.”

“The Cabal killed them. Not you. Never you.”

Edon’s head dropped again.

“What does it matter?” He rasped. “They wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t ordered them to be.”

Torak let out his breath. A gust of wind blasted at them from their left sides, icy water poured down along his spine.

“You told me when you join the order you devote your life to the cause. They knew the risks, especially during the Red War.” He dared reach out and grip the other man’s shoulder. Edon might not have wanted comfort, but he prayed it would work anyways. “Will you look at me? Please?”

Edon dared a glance over his shoulder. His face was pale, so pale, even with his rich skin. His lips were nearly black from the cold, but his eyes were redder than Torak had ever seen.

“Come home. Please.” He gripped him a little tighter. “You’re scaring me.”

His eyes dropped; his lip trembled. “I can’t…”

“You  _ can. _ ” Torak pressed. “You’ve suffered enough. Killing yourself out here won’t fix anything, but we can still honor their memories. Let me take care of you.” He pleaded, “We can go home and you can tell me about them. We’ll light candles for them and spread flowers. Put their pictures on Eva’s  _ ofrenda _ . Please.”

Edon was already trying and failing not to lean into his grip, into his warmth.

“Promise?”

“Traveler, yes. Yes, I promise.” He nodded, and Edon nodded back, just slightly.

  
  


Torak had Edri transmat them directly to Edon’s apartment. Rules be damned, he brushed off the automatic warning that was issued to her at the action. If someone wanted to punish him for it, he’d let them. Edon was pliant and limp in his hands, letting Torak touch and move him without complaint or comment. He’d held onto Torak so loosely while they’d traveled back on Torak’s sparrow he’d been sure the other man would fly off at the smallest bump or jostle. He thankfully hadn’t, but he didn’t gain any new animation when they made it into his apartment.

He was visibly shivering. For safety, Torak had forced him back into the top half of his armor on before they’d headed back. Now, the plates knocked against each other as he shivered and trembled. Torak led him into the bathroom with a gentle grip, eyeing his face for any reaction and finding none, he just looked sadly into Torak’s eyes as they stopped in the center of the bathroom and Torak turned to face him.

He couldn’t bear the eye contact, shifting his gaze down quickly to Edon’s clinking armor.

“Can I take this off?” He asked quietly, pulling off his gloves and letting his fingers find their way to the clasps of Edon’s heavy chestplate.

Edon nodded, and Torak undid it and set it aside, repeating the question a couple more times with the plates on his arms and the pauldrons on his shoulders until all he had to do was set his hands on a piece and Edon would nod. He helped him out of his armor, then his undersuit, and Edon kept nodding at every questioning look.

Torak stripped off his own armor, too. He made two piles of them, stacks of armor tossed on the floor beside one another, somewhat haphazardly thrown together. Edon nodded until he was stripped bare, but Torak couldn’t get that far, not before his stomach flipped and dropped to his toes. Instead, he left himself with his underwear and kept his eyes strictly up as he led Edon into the shower he’d asked Edri to start up while he’d been pulling off his own clothes.

Torak had found the gunshot wound Amaya had mentioned. It had been stitched, likely whenever Edon had returned to the Tower after the incident with Drifter. Unfortunately, it was bloody and open, just a few of the stitches left, barely hold the skin together as blood leaked through the wound. He set a hand over it to protect it when he led Edon into the shower. Even the Fallen didn’t have enough hands to do the same for all the other wounds that covered Edon’s body.

The water was lukewarm at best, but he knew Edon would still have to edge into it. His skin was so cold against Torak’s, it was like handling a block of ice. Still, he let Torak guide him into the stream, only pulling back to resist for just a moment to adjust to the temperature. Once he had, Torak replaced his hand with Edon’s own, and stepped back to let him stand fully under the spray. Carefully, he guided his fingers though Edon’s hair, letting the water soak into it and drive away the cold wet it had held onto from the mountain.

Edon was practically boneless in his hands, and he let Torak wash his hair and his face, let him clean out the injuries on his side and on his back, let him bring the temperature up slowly, until Edon’s skin didn’t feel nearly so cold, and he was leaning into the spray. When he was done, he led Edon back out and helped him dry off before he bandaged all the wounds that needed them, then helped Edon dress and led him straight to bed, wrapping him up in a nest of blankets and pulling him into his arms.

“Did you want me to tell you about them?” Edon asked him some time later, leaning back against Torak’s chest, Torak’s arms wrapped protectively around him.

“It can wait until tomorrow if you’d like.” He told him. “Amaya told me you got into a situation with Drifter earlier today…” He trailed off. “I’m sure you must be tired.”

He was honestly surprised the man wasn’t asleep already, his voice was low and soft, and every movement he’d made since they’d returned to the apartment had been slow and pained, weighed down by injury and exhaustion.

Edon shook his head. “Has to be tonight.” He told Torak. “Will you listen?”

Torak nodded. “Yes, of course, I’ll listen.”

Edon started with names. He recounted every member of his squadron he’d ever lost while he’d been in charge of it, their names, their squads, whether they were a Titan or one of the City Militia. After names, he moved on, telling Torak about each one, who they were, what they were like, how Edon had known them and how others had as well. By the time he made it through them all, Edon’s eyes were closed, and he’d twisted to lay half on his side, half on his stomach on top of Torak. He fell asleep just minutes after he’d finished speaking, and Torak, drawing the blankets up over them and holding Edon close, was not far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked that! I'm also going to try to do a writing challenge for December which I've sort of put together myself with old fictober prompts and destober prompts and things like that. Hopefully I'll start that tomorrow and hopefully I'll be able to keep up. I only have 9 days left in the semester for school so if I don't start before, I'll try to pick it up on the 9th. Until then, happy holidays!


	5. You Know That Place You've Been Dreaming Of, Where All Light Comes In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edon and Torak become brave enough to chose themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this has taken me so long! This chapter is pretty short, but I promise I'm going to follow it up quickly with part three of Dare to Dream which I have been excited about since I came up with the idea for it way back in July. I'm sure you guys will like it, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well!

Edon and Torak didn’t speak much the next day. Edon rose early for work without his Ghost, reporting to Zavala before he was to be on the wall, his wounds still stinging and achy, not that he gave them much mind. On the Wall, he spent most of the day in the command center. Amaya didn’t mention the celebration the Squadron had all attended the night before, but just knowing it was on her mind made his chest hurt more than the gunshot wound still in his side. 

His Ghost was back with him by midday, and he was healed and back to his normal physical self soon after, thankfully well enough to stay with his troops for the double shift they’d be pulling. The post rotation was occurring that day, and while the troops coming back from the front got their day off, the squadrons shifting from the day wall shift to the night wall shift had to shift immediately, without rest. The civilians were allowed a few hours of break to sleep, but they rarely took all of it, usually taking the time to run into the City to the squadron’s favorite restaurants and get take-out, which they’d bring back for the rest of the Titans still on the wall. Edon had no appetite when the leftovers were stashed in his office. Amaya, however, did, perching herself on his desk with a heaping plate of food before her, all the while her Ghost looked on judgmentally.

They’d hardly spoken all day. Edon had felt drained since he’d woken up that morning, and not having a Ghost had certainly contributed to the fact, all his energy going into mending his wounds. After his Ghost had healed him up, he exhaustion had been purely emotional. Amaya hadn’t pressed him. 

“Listen,” He said to his Second, setting the data tablet he’d been working on aside. “I’m...sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have blown you off like that. I’m guessing you’re the one who sent Torak after me?”

Amaya nodded, turning on the desk to look back at him.

“I know you feel guilty about what happened.” One of her hands brushed her thigh, where Edon knew the twisted scar of her old wound lay, from the Red War when she’d taken that shot for him. “But you don’t have to punish yourself for it anymore.” 

She set down her food on her plate, brushing off her hand on one of the paper napkins beside her. Once it was clean, she reached out to take Edon’s hand.

“Our lives are hard enough already. Finding a little joy doesn’t make you a bad person.” She told him, her voice soft.

Edon sucked in a breath, nodding to her. Tears were stinging the backs of his eyes now, and he fought them with a bit of rapid blinking. Amaya gave him a sympathetic smile.

“I know. I’m...trying to remind myself of that.” He murmured. “I guess I never realized how bad it was until I saw Torak’s face yesterday, after he came to get me.” Guilt had stabbed him through the heart when he’d realized how worried he’d made Torak. “I...can’t put him through that again. I won’t.”

Amaya smiled a little more. 

“Good, I’m glad.” She told him, giving his hand a squeeze.

He nodded, then drew in another breath, coughing into his fist against his tight throat.

“Listen, I’m...uh, going to take a few days off.” He told her. “I know I just took a week off, but I need some time to figure myself out. And the clan wants to go to the Dreaming City in a couple days to see if we can clean things up anymore. At least investigate the curse cycle, try to figure out why it’s repeating itself.”

“Okay.” Amaya said with a nod. “Take all the time you need.”

Edon gave her as much of a smile as he could muster. 

“Thanks.” He murmured, and Amaya nodded again. She gave him her own little smile, dropping a garlic knot into his hand. The action made him smile for real, and he let himself believe he and everything else would be okay as he accepted it. 

* * *

Torak was still in his apartment when he returned home at sunrise the next day, exhausted beyond belief. His work as a commander was hard enough as it was already, trying to keep up while mentally and physically drained made the task infinitely harder. It took all his energy to stay on his feet when he arrived back home, greeting a weary looking Torak before he trudged to the bathroom and showered. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t nearly doze off a dozen times in the shower alone. 

When he made it to his bed and crawled in, Torak entered the room a few minutes later, catching him just before he’d drifted fully asleep. 

“Can I join you?” He asked almost sheepishly, and Edon dragged his bleary eyes open once more. 

“Sure.” He answered drowsily, scooting aside to make room for the other man. “Did you not sleep last night?”

Torak shook his head. “No. I kept having nightmares. Eventually I gave up.” He explained, sliding into the bed with him. He was still dressed minimally, in a shirt and a pair of loose pajama pants. The apartment was getting colder with the winter setting in. Edon must’ve forgotten to adjust the heaters to make up for it.

“They don’t seem to happen as much when you’re around, though.” Torak continued, and Edon glanced up at him with a little frown. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe him, but Torak still seemed to get nightmares almost every night they spent together. How much worse were they when he wasn’t around?

“Do you...want to talk about it?” Edon asked, watching as Torak settled down facing him in the bed.

He shook his head. “I’d rather not.” He answered. “And even if I did, you’d probably fall asleep before I could start.” His tone was lighthearted, and Edon smiled a little. He was right, of course. Edon’s eyes had already drifted closed again as Torak had spoken. He could hardly muster up the will to open them again, but as soon as they did he let them close once more.

“Sorry.” He murmured back, and Torak chucked a little.

“It’s alright. Get some rest, I think you need it.” He dropped a kiss to Edon’s brow, and Edon hummed, moving closer to the other man, one of his arms reaching around to lay over Torak’s waist.

“Thanks.” He breathed and Torak pressed another kiss to his forehead before Edon dropped off to sleep.

  
  


They spent most of the day in bed, rising in the late afternoon at Severin’s insistence. Apparently, Edon’s sleep schedule was bad enough already, and Severin wasn’t about to allow him to mess it up any more. It was for the best, though. Edon did a few hours of work while Torak fielded logistical items for the clan. Given that Torak didn’t exactly have a job outside the clan he was often given a good deal of the management tasks involved. Working with Praxedes, Estella and Damian, he helped sort out their finances, mony gathered from the missions they performed, and distributed it to the members of the clan while also keeping up with clan fees and costs for shared equipment, weapons and spaces. They’d only formed the clan after the Red War, but ever since Edon hadn’t been able to get over how many logistical items they had to take care of in order to form and maintain the group. They certainly hadn’t been dealing with all those complications while they’d been a fireteam. But Torak seemed to enjoy the work and for that Edon was glad. It was likely good for him to accomplish something concrete that didn’t involve violence.

When he’d had enough of work, though, Edon had stood from the table and Severin had cleared his tablets and papers from sight. Torak had looked up when he’d gone into the kitchen, and before he knew it, Edon was teaching him out to make omelettes. 

They ate burned omelettes for dinner, and collapsed in front of Edon’s wallscreen. They watched old golden age movies and ate popcorn, throwing it into one another's mouths, or failing and making a big mess. Their Ghosts were both complaining about having to be responsible parents by the time they returned to Edon’s bed, collapsing in it once more. It was absolutely bliss, and Edon prayed it would last.

* * *

Torak panted through gritted teeth, leaning down to scoop up Edon’s fallen weapon, Crown-Splitter, Edon’s massive Titan sword, its handle painted in the colors of Edon’s 101st squadron, white, gold and red, the blade absolutely shining in the light of the Dreaming City. He rolled his wrist, getting a feel for the sword in his grip, eyeing the Knight that held Edon in a chokehold, the two Wizards and four other Knights accompanying it, and the ship they were making their way towards. He didn’t like the odds, but he wasn’t about to let them take Edon, either. He steeled his spine, raising the sword.

“Let him go!” He bellowed, and charged.

  
  


Their day certainly hadn’t started off so roughly. They’d arrived at the Dreaming City with the rest of their team a few hours earlier. They’d split up into teams of four, he and Edon had gone with Ada and Akshay, while Damian and Tessa had gone with Estella and Praxedes. They’d been taking out high priority targets all day, pretty much another day in the office for them, except that it often involved trips into the ascendant realm, and Torak was getting sick from drinking tinctures of Queensfoil. 

They’d been pursuing a Hive Wizard, one that had seemed far stronger than the other enemies they’d defeated, but they had a job to do, and there had been four of them after all, they’d thought they could handle it. They’d been mistaken.

The Wizard had seen them coming and had fled. They’d assumed it was simply because their goal was to execute her and she didn’t like her odds against four guardians. Naturally, they’d pursued her, following her into a system of caves Torak had never been into before, even in all his time in the Dreaming City with Tessa. It was there that everything had begun going wrong.

The caves had turned out to be a labyrinth. They’d lost sight of the Wizard and had split into pairs to try to find her, Ada and Akshay going one way, while he and Edon went another. They’d rounded corners and run into Knights and other Wizards, had been ambushed by great numbers of Hive, and had been disarmed when the Wizard had reappeared, surrounding them in a poison cloud so thick they couldn’t fight their way out, and had dropped their weapons while they choked on the poison, taking refuge in a shield of Edon’s light. Unfortunately, the shield hadn’t protected them from the poison, it had only spared them from dying. 

When the cloud had fallen, and Edon’s shield with it, they’d been on their knees, coughing and hacking, finding themselves at an abrupt opening at the end of the tunnel, a small Hive ship hovering over the ground a hundred yards or so beyond them. The acolytes and thrall had taken their weapons and had attacked, having stolen all but Edon’s sword and Torak’s knives. They’d managed to battle them back, but Edon had dropped his sword in the head of the battle, responding to the thrall with punches that shattered their skulls, only he’d been forced to retreat to the Knights waiting behind them. It was what had landed them where they were now, a Knight holding Edon round the throat, Torak standing before them, Crown-Splitter in his hand.

His lungs were burning from the poison, the toxins so caught up in his helmet he’d pulled it off and dropped it to the ground. His voice was harsh when he roared.

“Let him go!”

He charged towards the first Knight before him, swinging the sword as hard as he could, his light giving it an arc edge as he sliced through the Knight’s wrist, severing its hand and gun from its grasp. The Knight roared, and he ducked the punch it flung at him, angling the sword upwards and standing back up from his crouch as he drove the blade up, under the Knight’s armored plating and through its torso and out its back. The Knight died on his blade, and he drew it out before lunging to attack the next. 

He sliced the second Knight’s head clean from its body, the feat only possible with the arc edge he was putting to the sword, burning through the Knight’s flesh as he sliced it, cleaving through bone and armor until the Knight was no more. He used his light to take him to his next foe, a Wizard in the air above him. He stabbed his blade clean into her chest and held on, letting gravity do the rest as he dragged her down with him. 

Behind him, he turned in time to see the Knight holding Edon was lifting him off the ground by its grip on his throat, and while Edon was struggling it seemed to be all in vain. He raced to Edon next, the Knight lifting its gun in his free arm to shoot at Torak as he ran, the projectile nicking Torak’s shoulder, only giving him a rush of adrenaline that aided him in his approach. He slid under the Knight’s arm, coming up behind it and stabbing it through a chink in its armor before it could turn, his blade piercing the space between the armor on its torso and the armor on its arm, the arm holding Edon captive. 

The Knight roared, dropping Edon, who fell to his knees below the Knight. The Knight turned, bringing its gun down on Torak as it faced him. He caught the attack on his sword, his free hand bracing on the flat side of the blade, catching the gun above his head. He held it for a moment before he flung his light out into a kick, shifting his weight onto one foot so he could slam an armored foot into the Knight’s shin. 

With his light powering his kick, the Knight flew back, over Edon still crumpled behind him and into the wall behind them, slumping to the ground in a daze. That left him with the final Wizard and two remaining Knights. He dragged Edon to his feet by his arm, pulling the other man behind him. Not taking his eyes off their foes, he placed a shield between himself and Edon and let the other man go, raising his sword once more. 

“You can’t have him.” He told the Wizard, and she shrieked, unleashing a projectile attack at him as the two Knights charged.

He rolled aside before the attack could wound him too greatly, though the projectiles slammed into his shoulder and chest and burned. The Knights met him as soon as he was standing, the first on his right. They were both wielding swords, the first raising its sword above his head, slamming it down towards Torak. He knew better than to try to block it, side stepping the blow and jabbing his sword like a fencer into the gut of the second Knight, who only roared in anger. The second knight twisted his blade into an upswing, and Torak yelled as it sliced along his side, up over his hip, curving just behind his sword arm. 

The first Knight took the opportunity, bringing his own sword down quickly, the move less powerful than the first. Torak directed his Light to his right forearm, catching the balade against his armor while he turned and sliced with his sword. He managed to slice the Knight across his torso, and it let up his attack just in time for Torak to turn and parry the second Knight’s blade. He followed up with a punch to the second Knight’s jaw, rallying his light again to send the Knight stumbling back. He met the first Knight again and the cycle continued until the first Knight managed a lucky blow, slicing through his armor on his back, narrowly missing Torak’s head. He roared, rallying his light for a final attack, slamming his blade into the cave floor, a wave of arc energy tearing through the Knights, beating them down until they crumpled on the ground and did not rise. Even the Wizard was wounded in his attack.

Panting and bloody, he drew his sword from the ground, turning to face the Wizard. She took one look at him and fled, racing towards the Hive ship waiting in the open space beyond the tunnels. But Torak wouldn’t let her get away. He flipped the blade in his hand, rallied the dredges of his Light and flung it hard, watching it soar like a bolt of lightning, until it slammed through the Wizard’s torso and killed her before they hit the ground together.

By the time he’d retrieved the blade from the Wizard’s body, Edon looked sturdy on his feet, staring at him. He removed his helmet as he approached, holding it loosely in his left hand as he watched Torak return to him. Torak offered him the sword.

“Here.” He said, “This is a nice blade.” He told Edon as he offered it back, nice was an understatement, but it  _ was  _ Edon’s sword, so he’d very likely already know what Torak meant. 

Edon looked down at the sword, then back up to Torak. He was holding it with the blade downward, offering the hilt up to Edon. He wrapped his hands around Toraks tightly, keeping them in place.

“You keep it.” He told him, looking him in the eyes. “You deserve it.”

Torak opened his mouth to protest, but Edon pushed the sword towards him until his hands were resting against his waist. Footsteps echoed off of the tunnel behind them, and the pair turned just as Ada and Akshay rushed around a corner to find them.

“Did you find them?” Akshay was the first to ask.

“You two look awful.” Ada followed up quickly, and Torak smiled a little as he glanced at Edon. Dark bruises were already forming around his throat, and Torak couldn’t even imagine how bad he looked himself. But...he’d never felt better.

“We did.” Edon answered Akshay. “The Wizard tried to lure us into a trap. One of her Knights nearly had me captured, but they’re...all dead, thanks to Torak.” He glanced sideways to Torak, their hands still wrapped together on Crown-Splitter’s hilt.

Akshay looked them both over before nodding.

“Well, good job. All we did was run in circles.” He told them, and Torak grinned.

“You’re Hunters, isn’t that what you’re good at?” The quip came off Torak’s tongue before he properly realized he was speaking, and Akshay’s mouth fell open for a good three seconds as all three sets of eyes turned to him. A moment later Akshay was barking a laugh, and the Hunter slapped him on the shoulder as he laughed, turning away from the two a moment later, the other two joining in the laughter, albeit a bit in disbelief.

“Alright hotshot.” He said, though he was still grinning. “It looks like you two got beat up pretty bad. I’m going to call Damian, see if we can call it a day.” 

Edon smiled at Torak, not looking to Akshay again as he responded.

“Okay, thanks, Akshay.” He told him, still watching Torak. Torak’s existing smile only grew, and he leaned close to Edon’s ear to whisper.

“When this is over, can we go back to your apartment? There’s something I want to try.” He murmured in Edon’s ear, and the look Edon gave him afterwards made his toes tingle with a mixture of excitement and worry, but the other man nodded in agreement.

  
  


Crown-Splitter was strapped to Torak’s back by the time they returned to Edon’s apartment a few hours later. The flight back had been long and yet somehow exciting, Edon trying to pry out of him whatever it was that he wanted to do. Torak refused to tell, but his smile had remained the whole flight back. Edri had healed up his injuries, only a few scrapes and bruises showing that he’d fought at all. Well, those and the large scars now marring his side and back.

“So.” Edon announced, closing the door behind him and slipping into his weapons room to store his weapons. Torak followed him in with a smile growing on his face. Edon eyed him suspiciously. “What is it that you wanted to try out?”

He placed his guns carefully on their pegs, first the pulse rifle, then the sidearm, and he reached for the third only to find Torak holding it out to him, having drawn Crown-Splitter from his back. Edon stopped quickly.

“No, that’s yours.” He told him firmly, pushing the blade back towards Torak as he’d done earlier.

When Torak finally accepted it as an answer, he set the sword into its sheath and set it on top of the table in the center of the little room with the rest of his weapons.

“So what was it you wanted to try?” Edon asked him again, and Torak fought his smile, waves of nerves traveling through him like arc energy. He couldn’t keep dodging the question.

“You know how nearly dying makes you brave sometimes?”

He turned to half face Edon, looking over his shoulder at the man now standing a bit behind him. Torak rested his hands on his weapons on the table, feeling that their safety locks were on as he gauged Edon’s reaction.

Edon looked thoughtful, but confused.

“I guess?” He said, “What does that have to do with anything?”

Torak drew in a deep breath, turning to face Edon fully. 

“Well, I’ve been nearly dying  _ a lot  _ lately.” He told Edon, stepping towards the other man and taking his hands gently in his own. “And it’s made me realize that I don’t want to die with so many things left undone.”

Color began to seep into Edon’s face as Torak maintained their eye contact, stepping close, until they were chest to chest, and Edon was beginning to pick up what he was putting down.

“Such as?” Edon dared ask.

Torak bit his lip as he tried to contain his smile, but he didn’t succeed. “You.” He murmured, and Edon was clearly trying just as hard to fight his own smile. 

Torak was the one who broke first, a laugh of anxiety and relief bubbling up in his chest, and Edon broke a moment later. Their fingers laced, and Edon dropped his head down to rest it on Torak’s armored chest, his cheeks red but his smile broad.

“Traveler, who knew you could be such a dork.” Edon breathed once they had stopped laughing, his head still set on Torak’s chest. Torak only laughed again.

“Hey!” He exclaimed, anger not even remotely present though he gently pushed Edon off him and Edon laughed. “I was being vulnerable!” He protested, though he broke off into laughter as he said it and Edon grinned at him.

“I’m sure you were.” He told him, not entirely sarcastic, catching Torak’s hands again and lacing their fingers. “But in all seriousness, I’d  _ love  _ to have sex with you, if that’s what you’re asking me.”

It was Torak’s face that heated this time, his laughter stopping abruptly as it suddenly became so much more real when Edon said the word. Edon spotted his change and flipped like a switch.

“We can go slow.” He promised, his voice gentle. “I’ll walk you through it, or we can wait if you’d rather.”

Torak shook his head, his eyes dropping down to Edon’s chest. 

“No, I want this. I’ve just never…” He trailed off.

“You’ve never done it before?” Edon supplied, and Torak nodded. Edon raised his chin with a gentle hand. “That’s alright. It’s perfectly normal.” He promised, “And I don’t mind it one bit. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Torak’s lips. Torak leaned into the contact almost desperately.

“You still want this?” Edon asked him gently, and Torak raised his eyes to the other man, wondering if he could hear the pounding of his heart in his chest.

“Yes.” He breathed, his voice soft. “Yes, so badly, yes.”

Edon gave him a smile. “Then I’ll do everything I can to make it good for you.”

Torak returned it with a nervous excitement, and he let the man he trusted and loved most in the entire world lead him into his bedroom, their hands clasped together the way Torak hoped they’d always be, his right laced with Edon’s left, putting their weaknesses together to create something stronger, together. Always together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh I can't believe it finally happened I love these two! Anyways I hope you all enjoyed that. Imagine Torak and Edon being happy for once lol. Huge thanks to everyone whose been commenting and leaving kudos on these stories and chapters, I'm so glad you all enjoyed them! And if you noticed all the chapter titles are Noah Kahan lyrics, good on you. Love that guy.
> 
> Also I'm doing a Destcember writing challenge that I made for myself which has plenty of Edon x Torak works (check them out!) and I haven't written the one for today so I might just do this little end scene with Edon and Torak probably going into explicit territory, so if you like that sort of thing check back later today for that!


End file.
